Evolution
by Paige Turner Writes
Summary: Following the evolution of Olivia and Alex's friendship to relationship. Each chapter will focus on each defining part in the making of a love story. Chapter 11 is up.
1. Friends

**Friends.**

"You have no idea, how badly I needed this." Alex Cabot said wiping a tear from her eyes. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard.

"You and me both, these last couple of weeks, these last few cases…" Olivia trailed off and found herself no longer living in the moment she had been having such a good time in.

Alex took a sip from her drink, not sure if she should try to get her to talk about it or just let it go. There was such a thin line with Olivia she never had gotten very good read on her, one thing was sure she identified with the victims better than any other detective she had ever seen. She got people who trusted no one to trust her, Alex always thought that there was more to it than just being good at her job but was always afraid to ask. Was Olivia her friend, or just her co-worker? Alex was never good at figuring out where she stood with people, at least not outside of the clear lines of a courtroom. In court it was easy, everyone has their title and thus they have their place in her life and within the situation. She was the ADA, the person over to her left was the defense attorney and the person next to them the defendant, the judge, the bailiffs, the jurors, they all had their place and their function in her life. What was Olivias?

Finally once the silence grew uncomfortable Alex decided she had to ask.

"Liv, are you ok?" She decided to try calling her by her nick name for the first time, always thinking like a lawyer she thought that by using a term of endearment she would realize she was asking not as ADA Cabot, but as Alex her friend.

Olivia drew in a breath and sighed, careful to avoid eye contact with Alex. She could always keep it together until she made eye contact with someone, anyone. As she looked around the room she realized that they were practically the only ones left in the whole place, in the corner booth near the back, now was as good a time as any to vent and she felt like she could trust Alex. Olivia looked up from her beer and finally spoke.

"How long have you been our ADA Alex?" She said looking up, allowing the burning behind her eyes to finally give way to a tear.

"I'm not sure almost a year, ten months something like that." Alex shifted in her seat; she was not used to seeing Olivia like this she never thought of the detective as vulnerable always more like a superhero, unshakable, strong, and steady.

"And no one has let it slip about me, about my past? My mother? My father?" Olivia watched the lawyer closely, the way she would watch a suspect during questioning in order to see if they were lying to her.

Alex shook her head, she found herself saddened by the fact that she couldn't think of much she really did know about Olivia outside of work, the kind of detective she was, how she took her coffee sure but she couldn't think of a single personal detail about the woman sitting across from her.

"No. I mean, nothing other than your mother passing." Alex said hoping that bringing up her mother wouldn't upset her.

Olivia cleared her throat. "Cragen wanted to take me off this last case. Said I he didn't want to see me questioning myself." She took a slug off her long neck allowing Alex time to interject confused, but listening to her colleague.

"Questioning your work? Why would he think you wouldn't be able to handle this case it wasn't all that different from a few we've worked before."

Olivia carefully considered her answer to the question.

"He wasn't speaking about my police work. Cap didn't want me questioning myself. My existence in the world, my conception, my mother life…my life." She looked at Alex and could tell that while she was speaking to one of the smartest people she knew, she wasn't exactly following what she was saying.

"I'm sorry Olivia I guess I don't understand. The victim was 23, college student, raped during spring break and failed to report for months…" Olivia interrupted Alex mid sentence.

"Failed to report the rape until _after_ she found out she was 10 weeks pregnant…" It was clear Olivia was going to have to spell it out for the attorney. "My father raped my mother, and I am a product of that." Olivia confessed looking past the blonde towards the door at nothing, and everything so long as it wasn't the person she was speaking to.

Alex was stuck, words were normally her thing but at the moment she was at a loss for them, how do you respond when someone tells you that their existence on this earth is a result of a brutal attack. The exact kind of brutal attack that she investigates every day, and the kind that you put people away for, the kind that you sentence people to die for, how do you respond?

"My God, Olivia, I don't know what to say." Alex figured admitting her lack of words would be the best way to handle things.

"Its ok, you don't have to, I don't know that I really want you to say anything. I just." She paused. "I don't have a lot of friends, this job doesn't really allow for it. And after a case like this as much as laughing a pretending like everything is ok is great…" Olivia wiped a tear from her eye and cleared her throat. "As great as having drinks with you and laughing and carrying on is, I know I will go home and all I will be able to think about is that 23 year old girl somewhere in this city battling not only against the memories of her attack, but also against herself and her beliefs. You heard her Alex, she is Catholic, abortion is not an option, and the thought of adoption breaks her heart but not as much as the thought of raising a child who will, no matter how much she may love it, remind her of the worst night of her life and the brutal crime committed against her."

"Olivia I am sure your mother didn't think of you like that." Alex said reassuring her friend by touching her softly on her hand. Olivia pulled it away, not because she didn't welcome the encouragement but because she knew that if Alex continued to make her feel safe she would continue to fall apart before her.

"I'm sorry." Alex said taking back her hand.

"No, no don't be, I'm sorry. You're fine, I just…" Olivia stopped. "I don't want you to see me differently; I don't want to fall apart in front of your eyes."

"This isn't going to make me look at you differently and everyone falls apart sometimes, it is a hazard of being a human, and must certainly be a hazard of this job. I have to ask you though, how do you do it? How can you see these crimes everyday and not see yourself, your mother in the victims?"

"Who says I don't." Olivias voice cracked with her confession.

"You have to apply to be an SVU detective why would you do that to yourself?" Alex wondered out loud.

"For me its more like how could I not? My father was a rapist, my mother a victim, who better than their child to be able to identify the perps, and relate to the victims. You hear what they say about me, with the victims, they say I'm the best. They say I'm the one who can get anyone to talk. If they only knew why I was so good at it." Olivia shook her head.

"Who does know?"

"The Captain of course, and Elliot, oh and Munch thanks to El and his ever present need to protect me since finding out."

"So this last case, brought up all the things you question about yourself." Alex said getting them back to the conversation at hand.

"Since I can remember I have known what happened to my mother, I didn't really understand it until I was older fourteen or fifteen I guess. And it wasn't until after my first sexual encounter that I found myself really aware of how my mother must have felt." Olivias voice shook as she fought to keep her composure.

"You were raped?" Asked Alex confused.

"No, I wasn't raped. I was seventeen, he was nineteen we drank cheap wine and parked in a spot over by the Brooklyn Bridge. I didn't do anything I didn't want to but it was my first time, we were in a car in a parking lot. It was nerve wracking and scary but no I wasn't raped I was just a teenager afraid of getting caught, and in the back of my mind hearing the story about my father attacking my mother. Thinking to myself the whole time how if I felt this scared having sex willingly, with someone I thought I was in love with how awful it must have been for her. And then I realized that if it was that awful for her, how completely miserable it must have been seeing me every day. She always said she never saw his face, but I looked nothing like my mother so she saw him, she saw him every day, every time she looked at me. And the thing about it is, I am still pissed off at her for drinking the way she did, for treating me the way she did. I know my mother loved me because I was her child, but she loathed me because I was his." Tears were streaming down her face, mascara smudged on her check. Olivia stood up, and walked out of the bar.

"Liv." Alex called after her but she didn't seem to hear her, or she didn't care.

Alex stood threw a twenty on the table and walked out behind her. At first she didn't see her. She looked left, then right and didn't see her. Then she turned around and there she was behind her sitting on a bench right in front of the bar, smoking a cigarette.

"Sorry." Olivia said taking a drag off the cigarette.

"It's ok." Alex paused. "You smoke?"

"No, not since I was in college at least. I just got a little overwhelmed, I've never told anyone that story before, a nice man obliged my request to bum one as he walked past, I guess I look like I need it." Olivia said flicking the cigarette.

"Well, your secrets safe with me." Alex said.

"The smoke?"

"Lets just call this whole evening privileged information." Alex said sitting next to her.

"I'm your client now counselor?" Olivia joked.

"Client, no, friend yes." Alex said with a smile.

"So, tomorrow at the office…"

"Detective Benson is still one of the best Detectives I have ever seen." Alex said patting her firmly on the back and standing up.

"You bet your ass I am." Olivia said with a smile. "Hey Alex…"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything."

"I don't know that I really did much detective."

"There are millions of people in this city, millions. Sometimes you just need one to listen to you, to be your friend." Olivia smiled.

"I've heard it's good to have friends in the NYPD." Alex said with a wink.

Olivia smiled. "It can't hurt."


	2. Cunning

**Cunning**

The squad room was dim, the phones were quiet, even Cragen's office was dark. There she was sitting at her desk pouring over her case files, head in her hand, she had been staring at the same paper for the last thirty minutes and nothing had changed she still had nothing to take to Alex, nothing that they could hold the suspect on, nothing proving what she felt in her gut. She sat back in her chair and looked up at the clock, it was after eleven, and she should just go home and call it a night. Detective Benson was just about to leave when Alex walked in.

"Hey what are you doing here?" Olivia said as she put on her jacket.

"I had a feeling you were probably still here, looking at the same files I was, trying to find something to nail that son of a bitch with."

"Find anything?" The detective asked hopeful.

"No, you?"

"Nothing worse than a parking violation in his background, but Alex I feel it this guy is our guy."

"And while I trust your gut, it won't hold up in court." Alex said sitting on the corner of Elliots desk.

"I know. He's slick. It makes me just want to…"

"Don't finish that sentence please; I don't want to hear one of my detectives wants to punish a suspect outside of a courtroom."

Olivia smiled. "Right."

"Anyway I'm not here just on business." Alex said looking sheepish.

"Oh yeah, what else do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm sure its nothing, but it got a little heated today at Rikers with a perp that wanted to deal. He said some things, got me a little rattled…"

"Do we need to file a report?" Olivia asked.

"Already done, but a report won't go to my apartment and check under my bed." Alex said hanging her head ashamed to admit that she was freaked out and a little scared.

"Ah, well then lets go." Olivia said signaling Alex to go ahead of her.

"Are you sure, Liv? I'm sorry this is silly I don't want to put you out, my apartment is way out of your way and you've been here for what fourteen hours today?" Alex asked.

"Alex its no big deal, and now that you've told me there is no way that you are going to get me to not go with you so, the way I see it we can stand here for the next half hour going over why I should go with you versus why I shouldn't or we could be on our way already."

"Are you sure? I could always just call in a uniform to escort me."

"Don't be silly, besides what good is it for you to have a detective for a friend if she can't take you home and check things out." Olivia smiled, Alex smiled back.

"Thanks."

Fifteen minutes later the two women walked in to Alex's building. As Alex put the key in the door Olivia put her hand over Alex's, Alex jumped and immediately Olivia felt badly.

"Sorry, just let me go in first, just in case." She pulled her hand back and allowed Alex to stand behind her.

It wasn't the first time some thug had threatened her and it more than likely wouldn't be the last but there was just something that had Alex shaken, she felt herself standing too close to Olivia hiding behind her and her gun. Olivia walked in and turned on the light hand on her side arm. She told Alex to stay by the door as she walked through the apartment checking for signs of an intruder. She came back out of the bedroom minutes later.

"All clear, no monsters under the bed, in the closet or the shower. I think your guy was just blowing off steam Alex, he's looking at a long stint up river, not to mention he is about to be put there by a beautiful blonde, his favorite kind of victim." Olivia said sitting on the couch.

"You're right." Alex said thinking to her self how silly it was to be so happy that Olivia had called her beautiful. Alex sat down beside her and removed her glasses rubbing her temples.

"You going to be alright?" Olivia said putting her hand on her knee.

Alex knew she would be but she found herself enjoying the company of the detective so much and the feel of her hand on her knee, she hadn't felt that kind of electricity in a long time, so she lied.

"I don't know." Alex said. "Care for a glass of wine? It's the least I can do, asking you to come all the way over here, and for nothing." Alex crossed the room and entered the kitchen.

"Its not for nothing if you fell like you are in danger I am happy to do it. And yes a glass of wine would be great."

Alex entered the room two glasses and a bottle of red in her hand, she figured as long as she had Olivia here, they might as well make the best of it, and if she had to tell the honest truth the ADA was hoping for a little liquid courage. It seemed like she found herself thinking more and more about her friend since that night she bare her soul at the bar. Tonight it was Alex turn to bare her soul.

"Thank you." Olivia said taking the glass.

"No thank you. I was thinking about checking into a hotel for the night, but I thought I might be followed…"

"Alex seriously, its not a problem its not like we haven't hung out after work anyway ya know? Let's just pretend that you didn't come in because you were afraid, we can just say, you wanted to talk over a glass of wine."

"Ok." Alex said. It was silent for a moment while the two women settled in and sipped their wine.

"You know, the whole you just wanted to talk over a glass of wine thing would be much more believable if we actually talked."

"Right." Alex sighed.

"What's going on in that brain of yours Cabot."

"Nothing, its just…our jobs. They never stop, we chose them sure, but did you ever imagine the kind of…"

"Isolation?" Olivia finished.

"Yes. I knew that becoming ADA meant that there would be long hours sleepless nights, and not much time for much of a social life, it's just." Alex thought back on something someone told her a few weeks ago.

"It's just what?"

"Do you think I am intimidating?" Alex asked.

"You or your job?"

"I don't know, both I guess, some days I feel like I am my job."

"I think that your job is far more intimidating than you are. To be honest I wouldn't have thought you and I would turn out to be friends when I first met you. It wasn't that you weren't nice enough but when you're working, you are impeccable. It is intimidating dealing with someone who is seemingly perfect and has it all together. It's been nice to see that you are as flawed as the rest of us deep down."

"Thanks." Alex said rolling her eyes.

"You know what I mean."

"I know."

"Why do you ask?"

Alex and Olivia had been hanging out about once a week for the last couple of months, a drink here, a late dinner there. Plenty of girl talk, but one subject was notably left out of the conversations, maybe they both thought because of their jobs that there was no one special in their lives to talk about or maybe they just didn't want to, but the subject of relationships never really came up. Alex wasn't sure how to say what she was about to, she never was. She assumed that Olivia knew, after all she knew that Olivia was.

"So last week I was out, an ex of mine was in town."

"Oh, that is never a good way to start a story." Olivia said sipping from her glass.

"Yeah, I know but we've remained good friends in true lesbian fashion…" Alex looked down at her glass and took a drink.

Olivia's head started to spin a little and she was sure it wasn't from the wine since she'd only had a few sips. "Alex Cabot…gay ADA?" she thought to herself. Olivia kept her composure, she knew how hard it was to be upfront about that kind of thing with people, which is why so few people knew about her preference Alex was one. While stunned she also wondered why she hadn't confided in her sooner, maybe Alex just thought she knew.

"Ok, so what happened?" Olivia said trying not to let her surprise show.

"I asked her why she thought she hadn't found anyone, settled down…she said she didn't know, then posed the question right back to me. I took her route, I told her I didn't know I told her that in my line of work it's not like I am out at the hot spots, you know how people talk, I told her I thought I just wasn't really putting myself out there."

"It's understandable." Olivia knew all about the dilemma Alex faced and the fine line between finding someone and putting her sexuality on public show.

"I'm not closeted or anything. I just have a don't ask, don't tell policy. If the DA asked me tomorrow if I was a lesbian I would say 'Yes sir.' And move on, I have no intent on hiding my life when I do find someone we aren't living in the stoneage."

Olivia couldn't help herself, she had to ask.

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask."

"I know but we're friends, I'd think you'd like to relate to a friend when you have something like that in common."

"I don't…I'm not good at…" Alex grunted at her inability to come up with a train of thought and stick with it. "What would I do, if it was reversed would you have come up to me and said 'Wow your gay? Me too!' I'd feel ridiculous."

"Well I think you have a better way with words than that but I understand."

"You and I we're friends but we work together too, I just didn't want to put either one of us in an awkward situation. I didn't want you to think I was trying to pick up on you. I don't know why I didn't tell you, but I am telling you now."

"I understand." Olivia responded but couldn't help but feel a little hurt by the comment Alex made about not wanting her to think that she was picking up on her. She couldn't decide if she meant that because they worked together or because she just would never even consider her no matter of professional standing. "So what did she say to rattle your cage?"

"She said it wasn't just that I wasn't out there, she said it was because I am intimidating. Even when I do go places where I might find a woman, I intimidate. Do you think I am intimidating? If you were out and you saw me at the bar would you approach me?"

Olivia was taken back. She really didn't know what answer would be best here.

"I don't know what kind of bar, I mean is this the cop bar down the street from the prescient or are we in a little more friendly atmosphere."

"Well I don't think you would hit on me in a cop bar so, I guess a friendlier atmosphere."

"Honestly Alex, I am shocked. I normally can pick up on things and I had no idea you were gay, so I don't know if I would be so bold."

"I didn't know you were at first, ok I thought you might be, but I wasn't sure." Alex argued.

"Yeah but you knew before I painted the picture for you." Olivia had a point.

"Yes but…"

"Can I be honest?" Olivia felt like she should lay it out for her.

"Please"

"If I saw you in a bar I would take notice. I would think to myself how gorgeous you were and decide that even if you were gay, not just a tourist who wandered into the wrong bar, you wouldn't be interested in me." As much as she knew it wasn't what Alex wanted to hear, she had to say it.

"Wha..Why?" Alex stammered.

"You're perfectly put together, your hair, your nails, and your clothes. Me, I'm a mess, and I'm a cop. Two strikes right there. I am a cop and you are obviously out of my league."

"You are a detective first of all, not just a cop. And second I am not out of your league, this isn't the 1800's there isn't a caste system, and I hate the bullshit around the idea of the 'wrong side of the tracks' so to speak." Alex knew no matter what she did she would always be seen as privileged and she hated it.

"So you're saying that if you're you, and I'm me and I ask you, ADA Alexandra Cabot would you like to get dinner with me some time, and didn't mean 'get dinner' the way I did last week you would say…"

"Olivia…"

"See, you're out of my league." Olivia stood up, what once was a hypothetical situation was now very real and she felt rejected. Rejected by a woman who up until about ten minutes ago she thought was her straight best friend thus, not fodder for fantasy.

"I'm not…I'm not out of your league." Alex said.

"Ah right, we work together." Olivia crossed to the window.

"Yes, there's that." Alex turned trying to keep eye contact; she knew she'd crossed a line that they were not going to be able to just ignore.

"There's that and, I am a detective, my hours are long and my job is dangerous. I get it I understand." Alex hated it when Olivia put herself down.

"Olivia, I don't know if you noticed, but I never said no."

Olivia stopped dead in her tracks.

"I never said no." Alex continued. "I just, I don't know what that would mean for us, so I haven't let myself think about it. As much as I have thought about it, I have thought more about how I can't think about it." Olivia raised an eyebrow yet another thing they had in common, not thinking about one and other.

"Because we work together?" Olivia wanted to be sure why Alex felt this way before she let it go.

"Because if I messed it up I wouldn't be able to forgive myself, because you're my best friend, your friendship means more to me than any attraction I might have to you."

"What makes you think it would be you that messed it up?" Olivia asked sitting back down.

"It just seems to work that way."

Suddenly, things were clicking in Olivia's head, and she couldn't help but thinking that this whole night might have been a bit of a set up.

"Alex. Did you really get threatened today?" Olivia said.

"What?" Alex did her best stunned act.

"You've been threatened before; dozens while I've been in the room and it has never bugged you like this before." Olivia allowed a smirk to fall over her face.

That smirk drove Alex insane, half because it was cute and half because she was partly right.

"I was really scared." Alex said fighting to keep her composure.

"Uh-huh." Olivia mocked.

"He said he was going to get me."

"Yeah, he's in Rikers, he'll be there for the life thanks to you."

"He has strong ties on the outside." Alex lied.

"He was a hermit!" Olivia smiled knowing that the counselor was full of it. "A hermit, whose neighbors didn't even know he lived in their building! The only reason we found him was because the uniforms did a check on the apartment because the residence thought it was abandoned and they found three bodies in his freezer!"

"This is why I can't date you." Alex said.

"Why's that?" Olivia wanted to hear this one.

"You'd always know if I'm fibbing." Alex shot back, causing Olivia to laugh out loud. 'Who says fibbing?' Olivia thought to herself.

"Oh I didn't think you were earlier, you played the freaked out card very well counselor." Olivia smiled.

"What about you, putting your hand on mine at the door, telling me to stand back, pulling your gun? Like that wasn't a bit of a show?" Alex knew she had Olivia's card on that one.

"I thought you were scared I was trying to make you feel safe, and what about you clinging on to me like a human shield." Olivia knew she was putting on a show but wasn't about to admit it.

"I was trying to convince you I was scared."

"So Alex, if you weren't really scared to come home, why is it that you wanted me to come home with you tonight?"

"Honestly."

"That would be the preferred response." Olivia picked up her glass again and this time drank a fair amount of the glass down.

"I don't know. I know I wanted you to know for sure, let you know I am gay. I wanted to know what that meant for us. If you knew, for sure if that would change anything."

"I don't know what that does mean for us, but you cooked this whole thing up, just to get me here."

"Guilty as charged."

"That is pretty freaking cute."

Alex blushed.

"I don't know if I would call it cute." Alex said as Olivia sat back down next to her. She felt her heart start to race.

"Oh yeah. What would you call it." Olivia said closing the distance between them.

"Cunning."

"Cunning huh, why would a pretty girl like you resort to such methods when all she really had to do was say something." Olivia leaned in almost touching Alex's lips with her own.

"I think I just did." Alex whispered as she leaned the rest of the way into Olivia kissing her gently on her lips. Their kiss was cautious and gentle you could even call it polite but it was electric for both. Olivia brought her hand to Alex's face as she parted her lips allowing for their tongues to meet for the first time. She felt Alex wrap her arms around her and deepen their kiss. When the two parted, they looked into the others eyes for a moment, gauging reaction trying to see if the other felt what they just had.

"Well counselor, this changes everything." Olivia said taking a breath.

"To put it mildly." Alex said.

"So, I ask you to dinner, tomorrow night and you say?"

"Absolutely." Alex stood as Olivia did.

"So you think you're going to be ok. You think you're safe." Olivia mocked as she stood up and made her way to the door.

"I think so. And if I'm not I have a date with one of New York's finest tomorrow, a criminal in his right mind wouldn't come near me." She smiled following behind her.

"So I'll see you tomorrow." Olivia said leaning in and gently kissing her once more.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Olivia brushed back a stray piece of blonde hair and looked once more into the blue eyes of her friend. Neither was sure what would come of tonight's events but they were both more than willing to find out.

Alex closed the door behind her and locked it tight leaning back against it and sinking to the floor, smiling like a school girl she giggled to herself. She couldn't believe that worked.


	3. Romance

Authors Notes: I suppose this would be a good time to say all those disclaimer–ish things you're supposed to say when you are borrowing the characters of another writer. So as we all know I am not Dick Wolf, these characters are not mine. Where as SVU follows these characters in their daily work life this fiction is meant to fill in the times when they aren't gracing the screen saving the world from the perverts and pedophiles. I also wanted to write an Alex/Olivia fiction that didn't have the relationship going from 0-60 over night, that isn't how I do things in my life so I am guessing it isn't how most people do. Thank you for all the great feed back, it only helps me write the next chapters. Let me know what you life specifically and I will do my best to make sure I keep it in mind when I am writing in the future. Thanks to Amy for hooking me up with the Live Journal crew. Keep the hits coming! Paige

**Romance.**

"I'd like to make a reservation please." Olivia felt guilty, she was standing less than twenty feet from a crime scene making reservations for her date with Alex, she felt badly but she hadn't had a spare moment all morning. She hoped that she could get the reservation set and finish her call before Elliot met her back at the car. "Tonight please. Yes, I know it is last minute." Olivia waited on hold while the grumpy host checked for a 'cancellation'. She grew impatient as she saw Elliot turn to come back to the car, if he saw her on the phone or heard one bit of this conversation she knew he would not just let it go. "You did, great. Eight is great, sorry didn't mean to rhyme there. Yes, for two. Benson, Olivia. Great, listen I know I barely got my name in here and I know that you must be asked all the time but a romantic secluded table would be…yes, perfect that would be great. What was your name again? Well Sam thank you very much. Thanks." Olivia quickly hung up her phone and slipped it in her pocket right as Elliot reached her.

"Everything ok?" Elliot asked as he approached.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"You just kind of have that deer in the head lights look about you, that's all." Elliot laughed to himself. "What are you up to Liv?"

"Nothing, just making my plans for tonight is all." Olivia didn't want to lie to Elliot, they were adults, he was well aware of her situation where relationships were concerned and respected her privacy…most of the time.

"Oh yeah hot date." Elliot teased.

"As a matter of fact yeah, I do." Olivia smiled, she felt like a teenager.

"Good for you." As Elliot started the car and pulled away he said the three words she'd been hoping he wouldn't. "Anyone I know?"

Olivia really didn't want to lie to her partner, but she also didn't want to out Alex and put their potential relationship out there for scrutiny before they'd even had a date. She decided to be up front with her partner.

"I'm not really ready to talk about her yet, it's too new I don't want to jinx it. We're just going out, no pressure seeing what happens."

"That's fair, sounds like you might have a thing for this one." Elliot said giving her a wink. 'This one' Olivia thought to herself, as if she dated so much that Elliot had to make the distinction.

"She's pretty great, I'm hopeful." She replied deciding to let the comment slide.

"Good, good for you, you deserve it."

"Thanks." Olivia looked out the window hoping the conversation was over, but Elliot still had more to say on the matter it seemed.

"You know you can trust me right? I mean I know we haven't talked about it much but I can be discrete you know, we can talk about this stuff and you don't have to worry about every badge from here to Canada knowing your business." Elliot looked over at his partner; he didn't know how to act when she first told him that she was gay. He didn't care really, but even saying that seemed like a cop out. He cared, he cared very much about his partner but he didn't care who she dated, who she loved. Olivia was like his sister, he just wanted her to be happy no matter what that meant. He wasn't sure how to handle it though, he grew up in a Catholic family, didn't have any other gay friends he wanted to be able to talk to her about anything but found himself unsure how to talk about that without sounding like he was patronizing or judging.

"I know, Elliot. I know, when the time is right, if this whole thing works out I promise you will be the first to know but right now…"

"You're nervous, it's a first date, and you don't want to jinx it. I get ya, I've been there…ok not recently, not in a very long time but I follow. So where are you taking her?"

"A nice little Italian place, great food, great wine list, quiet booths." Olivia said smiling more and more as she thought about her evening.

"_Very _nice Liv, you really want to impress her don't you."

"Not impress, I just want it to be a nice evening. Memorable, I have a feeling this one is worth it." She said hoping he would notice her throwing his remarks back at him.

Olivia spent the rest of the day going over case files, tying up loose ends before heading out for the weekend. Elliot must have been watching her watch the clock as the end of their shift approached.

"What time is your reservation?" He asked her so the others wouldn't hear.

"Eight." She answered quickly.

"Get out of here."

"What…no, its fine I have plenty of time." Olivia lied, she was worried there was no way she could get all she needed to done, and arrive to Alex's on time.

"You've been pushing around papers for the last hour, you might as well get out of here, go get cleaned up, pick up some flowers, get ready for your night."

"I think flowers might be a bit much." She said stacking papers on her desk.

"Ah come on Kathy is always on my case, I never bring her flowers. You like flowers don't ya?"

"I like flowers." She said knowing how hard Elliot was trying to show her he was happy for her, and at the same time give her a hard time.

"See the ladies, they like flowers you want this to be a nice night right. Pick up some flowers." He said with a wink. She had to hand it to Elliot as awkward as it was he was trying.

"Ok, I'll pick up some flowers one condition…"

"What's that?"

"You pick up some too, for all your lovely ladies at home."

Elliot thought about it for a moment then held out his hand.

"Deal." He said as he shook Olivia's hand, pulled her into a hug and said "Now get out of here already you're making _me_ nervous."

Nervous, she wasn't nervous. Terrified was more like it. She called Alex on her way to her car to confirm their plans.

"Hey, I was just about to call you." Alex said answering her phone.

Olivia's heart sank, she's started one too many calls that way herself it was the 'I was just about to call you, can I get a rain check.' conversation.

"Oh yeah?" Olivia said trying to play it cool.

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure that we were still on for tonight, I heard there was a case involving a prostitute?" Alex hoped against hope that her detective wouldn't be detained because of a case, not tonight.

"Fin and Much have the pleasure of that one."

"So we're still on?" Alex said, Olivia was relived to hear her sounding excited.

"We are, I'll pick you up at your place around 7:30? You like Italian?"

"Love it."

"Great, I'll see you then."

"See you then." Alex hung up the phone and immediately began to feel the butterflies in her stomach. She tried to calm herself down breathing deeply and remembering that this was Olivia picking her up, she knew her. It wasn't some blind date with someone she didn't know, who she'd have nothing in common with. However the thoughts she had meant to calm herself down she found only were making her more nervous, more anxious, she was right after all. This wasn't some woman she met out, or a casual fix up, this was Olivia Benson, her friend, her colleague a woman she both respected and admired. This wasn't just another date; this had the potential to be so much more than a date as well as the potential to come between her and a woman she already deeply cared for.

As promised Olivia walked in to the florist on her block, and found herself feeling a little silly. How many times had she picked up Alex on there way to a night out, twenty? Now here she was trying to think what kind of flowers Alexandra Cabot would like, what kind of flowers delivered the message tonight I am here as your date, not just your friend. As she looked at all the choices Olivia realized that she had never once bought flowers, for anyone, not even her mother. She couldn't decide why that was and the more she thought about it she realized that this wasn't just going to be another date with another woman who she could turn and walk away from when things got tough, nor was it with a woman whom she wouldn't mind if she walked away once she realized what dating a detective really meant. She felt her heart racing in her chest, once they went down this road there was no going back.

Olivia chose a simple yet elegant bouquet of orchids and lilies and quickly headed back to her apartment. She must have gone through everything in her closet before deciding she had nothing to wear, not one single thing, everything she had either screamed cop or that she was trying to hard, neither an impression she wanted to make. She settled on a curve fitting back dress and tall black boots, and after spending more time on her hair and make up than she thought she ever could, she picked up her coat and the flowers and headed out to pick up Alex.

"Who is it." Alex asked answering the intercom knowing it must be Olivia.

"It's me." Olivia said hoping that Alex didn't hear her voice shake.

"Come on up, I'll just be another minute." Alex said buzzing her in.

A moment later Olivia rapt on the door, taking one last deep breath, ready or not here they went.

"Police, open up." She said hoping to ease the tension with a joke.

"Very funny." Alex said opening the door while fumbling with an earring.

Olivia stepped inside completely struck by how beautiful Alex looked, red was definitely her color, her dress flowed softly over her curves and stopped just above the knee this definitely was not something from Ms. Cabot's work wardrobe. Alex felt Olivia's eyes on her smiled, satisfied with her reaction.

"You look beautiful." She said laying her coat over the back of the sofa, the same sofa where Alex confessed her secret, the same sofa where she kissed Olivia the night before.

"I was just about to say the same thing about you." Alex said walking over to Olivia and kissing her cheek. "Are those for me?" She asked gesturing to the flowers in Olivia's hand.

"Oh, yeah they are." Olivia said looking away sheepishly.

"They are beautiful, how'd you know?" Alex asked.

"Know what?"

"Lilies are my favorite." Alex said as she filled a vase from the tap.

"Lucky guess I suppose. Are we ready to go, cabs waiting downstairs."

"Yes. I am, just one more thing." Alex picked up a necklace and struggled putting it on.

"Here let me." Olivia said taking the necklace and signaling for her to turn around. Alex lifted her hair so Olivia could work the clasp, she couldn't figure out if it was her nerves or the beautiful woman in front of her but Olivia fumbled with the necklace almost as much as Alex had.

"There we are." She said once she had it latched.

"Thanks. Lets go."

"Have you ever been here before?" Olivia asked as they pulled up to Becco, the most romantic Italian place Olivia could think of when trying to decide where they should go.

"I've never had the pleasure, but I have heard great things." Olivia offered Alex her hand and helped her out of the cab and paid the driver.

"You really look stunning tonight Liv." Alex said causing Olivia to blush and then she took Olivia completely by surprise and kissed her right there on the side walk. Alex had told her that she was open about her sexuality except for her don't ask don't tell policy, somehow Olivia assumed it was more of a don't show and tell policy, apparently she was wrong.

"Benson for two." Olivia told the host as they walked in.

"Right this way." Alex took Olivia's hand as the host led them to a quiet candle lit booth with a window near the back.

"Perfect." Olivia said upon seeing the table.

"You'd better be careful detective a girl could get used to this." Alex smiled and laid her napkin in her lap.

"Feel free, it's good for me get cleaned up, trade in the leather for some lace."

"Well for the record, you look great in either." Alex reached across the table and touched her date's hand.

As the night wore on, the nerves wore off and the two found themselves in a comfortable rhythm, and while neither had been looking they both felt as though they had found a treasure that had been waiting for them just under their nose.

"So I have a confession to make." Olivia said taking a bite of the tiramisu desert they were sharing.

"Uh oh."

"No, no, not uh oh, I was just going to confess to you how nervous I was about tonight."

"Oh honey you are preaching to the choir. I have stood toe to toe with the scum of the earth never batted an eye lash and the thought of a date with you, had me shaking in my boots." Alex smiled.

Olivia laughed. "It's silly right. I mean it's not like we don't already know we have things in common, we have a good time together."

"True, but this is different. I mean I don't know about you but…" The waiter interrupted the conversation by delivering their lattes'. "Thank you." Alex said smiling at the waiter. "Anyway what was I saying?"

"You don't know about me…" Olivia reminded.

"Right. I don't know about you but I have spent a lot of energy trying to _not_ think about you like this. And now here we are and you look spectacular and you brought me these amazing flowers and to this beautiful restaurant and I don't know it's more than I could have hoped for and I just have to say thank you." Olivia took a sip from her latte as she listened to her date marvel at the evening she planned for them. "Thank you and, you've got foam, right here." Alex said reaching over and wiping the foam off Olivia's lip with her thumb.

"See you can dress me up, but you can't take me anywhere." Olivia said with a laugh. "And you're welcome, I'm glad you're having a good time."

"I am. I'm just trying to figure out one thing."

"What's that?"

"You planned this great night, complete with flowers, candle light, red wine and here I sit on my side of the booth and there you are _all _the way over on that side of the booth."

Olivia stood as she answered.

"Well, I guess I thought as long as there was a table between us I'd be able to restrain myself a bit easier." She sat and ran her hand through Alex's hair.

"Mmmm, yes restraint. Very polite." Alex said leaning in to Olivia's ear and whispering. "But completely over rated."

Olivia stood up and offered her hand helping Alex out of the booth.

"Shall we get our coats?" She asked as she led Alex towards the coat check.

"You know you've set the bar pretty high tonight Liv, are you sure you don't want to leave a couple tricks up your sleeve?"

"Oh, no no, don't you worry there are plenty of tricks still up there." Olivia said helping Alex with her coat and allowing Alex to return the favor. As Alex pulled the lapels of Olivia's familiar black trench coat over the brunettes shoulders and looked into her deep chestnut eyes she couldn't help herself and she kept right on pulling on those lapels until she felt Olivia's lips upon hers once more. Olivia was hooked, the hair on the back of her neck stood up and a shiver went down her spine. If it meant more kisses like that from Cabot, Olivia could plan a million more nights like this.

"So…uh Detective. Where are we off to." Alex asked standing nose to nose forehead to forehead with her date.

"Suddenly I can't recall." She said kissing her date again.

"We could stand here doing this all night." Alex warned.

"I like that plan." Olivia said between kisses, as she ran her hand over Alex's back. Alex stepped back, not wanting to get too carried away too quickly.

"Why don't we get a cab, and head back to my place." Alex suggested.

Suddenly the butterflies once faded made their way back into the pit of Olivia's stomach.

"Sure. Lets go." Olivia said opening the door.

Twenty minutes, and a spat over cab fare later the two stood outside Alex's front door.

"I did the asking I'll do the paying thank you very much." Olivia said once more in her defense.

"I just think it is the least I could do, you planned this whole thing and what have I done?" Alex asked turning around and leaning against the door.

"You have been the best date I've ever had thank you very much, and while I thank you for the offer, this one is on me." Olivia shifted her weight from side to side trying to decide how to navigate the situation at hand.

"You want to come in? I can open a bottle of red." Alex offered fishing in her purse for her keys.

"Umm." Olivia thought for a moment.

"Umm?" Alex repeated.

"Alex I don't know…"

Alex could tell her date was nervous, and presently standing before her contemplating what she was really saying. She knew Olivia, she was trying to determine if she was being invited in for a glass of wine, or if she was being invited in for a glass of wine with expectations attached.

"I promise I don't bite." Alex badgered.

"I know, I know I just…" Olivia was stammering and she knew it.

"Just a glass of wine Olivia, nothing more, I promise." Alex took Olivia's hand and drew her inside.

As promised Alex poured two glasses of wine and the two made themselves comfortable on the couch. Alex picked up a remote from the table and turned on the MP3 player across the room, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filled the room.

"Hmmm." Olivia said eyeballing Alex.

"What?"

"If I didn't know better I would think you were trying to set some sort of mood." Olivia laughed.

"I promised a glass of wine, that thing is on random, so if anything is trying to set a mood it is my Ipod and you'll have to call up Steve Jobs if you'd like to ask about it."

"I see." Olivia sank back in to the comfort of the sofa, suddenly feeling her long week and the wine catch up with her.

"I'll be right back." Alex said getting up and disappearing into her bedroom.

"Ok." Olivia drank from her glass and enjoyed the music, as well as her buzz. Her relaxation was short lived when the song ended and the next began.

_Oh oh whoa oh oh, Oh oh whoa oh…the right stuff._

Olivia doubled over in laughter as Alex came sprinting from her bedroom hair in a pony tail, in an oversized Barnard T-shirt and boxer shorts, dropping the clothes in her hands she leapt over the couch in an attempt to get to the remote before Olivia. Her attempt was futile, and she found herself restrained by her hysterical date.

Olivia could hardly catch her breath to speak she was laughing so hard.

"New Kids On The Block?" Olivia said between cackles.

"They were big when I was young." She said struggling to pry the remote from the detective.

"Which is why you might have a cassette somewhere in a box, or the back of a drawer…you downloaded this. And recently I am pretty sure I was with you when that thing was delivered a month or two ago."

"So, what, so I listen to New Kids On The Block after a long day in court sometimes you need a little reminder of a time when life wasn't so serious. There was a time when I didn't even know about the bad guys out there, and during that time I was listening to New Kids On The Block." Alex pouted. Olivia wiped her eyes and held her side, she felt like she might split open. She kissed Alex, softly and slowly in her own way thanking her for reminding her that there are still a lot of good things left in the world and in Olivia's world Alex was turning quickly into one of the best.

"You are just pretty damn adorable." She said looking her date over.

"Ugh I couldn't take those heels anymore. I got these for you." She said standing up and picking up the tank top and sweats she'd brought for Olivia. "I thought you might want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah, a movie would be nice." Olivia said taking the clothes Alex offered her. "I'll be right back." Olivia excused herself to change and Alex went through her movie collection trying to decide what the best choice was.

"What are we watching?" Olivia asked walking back into the room, Alex noticed she'd taken the time to wash the make-up off her face and Alex's tank was just a little snug, exactly what she was hoping for.

"You'll see." Alex said knowing that it would only be a matter of moments before the mocking started and as if on cue Olivia obliged.

"Dirty Dancing?" Olivia laughed.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you don't love this movie." Alex turned to face her date.

"I liked it fine…in 1987 when it came out." Olivia laughed.

"Uh…it's a _classic_." Alex demanded.

"I had no idea you held such a love for all things 80's."

"Not all things 80's." Alex defended herself.

"Hey don't get me wrong I hold a special place in my heart for Flash Dance…that 'Maniac' sequence gave me my first insight into the fact that perhaps my interests didn't lie in the male persuasion. First time in my life I thought I'd like to trade places with a dog."

Alex laughed and hugged on to Olivia and slowly as she kissed her laid her back on to the couch. She held herself up on her hands and looked closely at the woman she now trapped under her slender arms, if Olivia wanted to get away there was nothing Alex could have done to stop her, she was easily the stronger of the two. She allowed her hips to fall and press her weight against Olivia's, she watched Olivia's eyes for cues, Alex knew she was nervous. Alex ran her fingers through Olivia's short spiked hair and over the soft skin of her cheek, never breaking her gaze.

"I can't believe you're real." Alex whispered, leaning down and kissing her partners temple softly. Olivia wrapped her hand behind Alex's neck and pulled her into her as they kissed Alex's arms went weak and her full weight fell against Olivia. Ah, the weight the feel of someone else's body on yours, she didn't realize how much she missed it. Olivia rolled to her side taking Alex with her and before she even knew it happened she was on her back, and Olivia was kissing her neck running her hands over her body.

"I'm real." She said softly into Alex's ear. "Alex." She whispered, as Alex rose to kiss her along her collar bone. "Alex." She said again gently pushing back down on her shoulders.

"Yeah Liv." Alex said breathlessly looking at Olivia.

Olivia knew she had to choose her words carefully or risk hurting Alex's feelings.

"Alex, you are amazing. This, _is_ amazing. I just…" She stopped and waited for a reaction from Alex.

"I know, a glass of wine and a movie. I don't want to move too fast either, but…"Alex leaned up and kissed Olivia behind her ear. "Last time I checked, making out after a first date is a pretty time honored tradition."

"And a good one." Olivia smiled.

"We won't go to fast. I don't want to mess this up as much as you don't." Alex smiled finally called a spade a spade and brought up the pink elephant that had taken up most of the room since they entered the apartment.

"I just can't, not with you I don't want to…" Alex didn't let Olivia finish.

"You won't." Alex shifted allowing Olivia to fall over on to her side behind her. "Lets watch the movie. There is plenty of time for the rest." Alex said reaching behind her and brining Olivia's arm over her. Olivia snuggled in and squeezed Alex tight. Alex felt safe and Olivia felt cared for, as far as first dates went, this one was out of the park. Olivia couldn't remember ever sleeping so well when she woke up the next morning still on the couch, still wrapped up around Alex who still slept in her arms. Olivia couldn't say she'd ever been in love before but there was something stirring inside her she'd never felt before that was sure. She lay her head back down and pulled Alex in closer to her, it was Saturday morning, and she didn't have anywhere else she'd rather be.


	4. LOVE

**Author's notes: **Thank you, thank you, thank you all for reading and reviewing it is much appreciated, keep the reviews coming it only makes me better. I have to admit I draw much inspiration from my own relationship with my girlfriend Elaina, she's been "Hangin' Tough" with me for the last almost five years and thinks writing fan fiction is a little silly but is glad I have a hobby, ha ha, plus I think she likes our story coming out a little through my writing (I have a scar on my hand from where she scratched me trying to get the remote for her CD changer away from me). So anyway, thanks for reading. And thanks to the lovelies who've been letting me bounce things off them! ENJOY! Oh yeah I don't own anything…except hand cuffs, but that doesn't make me a detective, dang it.

**LOVE.**

"Benson." Olivia said into her cell phone, she was sitting at her desk trying eat her lunch in peace.

"I'd like to report a crime." Alex said on the other end of the phone. Olivia knew it was her but decided to play along.

"Ok, I'm listening." Olivia smiled and kicked back in her chair.

"I haven't seen my girlfriend outside of work in over, a week."

"Oh my, that is a crime. But ma'am this is Special Victims we deal mainly with sex crimes."

"Well, then I have called the right place, because it is a crime that we aren't having sex." Olivia shot straight up in her chair and suddenly felt light headed as her heart raced. "Hello?" Alex worried she may have killed Olivia.

"I'm here, um well ma'am perhaps it is time you and your partner do something about that."

"Well I think it is about time, but I'd hate to be pushy. I really like this woman I don't want to be too forward or do anything to compromise myself with her."

"Mmhm, I understand." Olivia walked out of the squad room and sat in the stair well where she could hear herself think.

"So I guess I just don't know what to do."

"Well, I think I can help you. Are you free tonight?"

"Well actually detective, I am supposed to have a date with her tonight but I don't know the last few times we were supposed to get together, she had to stay late at her job."

"I understand. That can be very frustrating."

"It can but she is worth it." Alex was starting to feel a little silly still playing the game.

"What time are you meeting her tonight?" Olivia asked knowing very well they hadn't set a particular time yet.

"Well I don't know, she hasn't told me when she'll be done at work yet."

"I see. Well can you meet me? I think I can help you."

"Sure just tell me when and where." Alex smiled, it had been almost two months of this cat and mouse game, being careful not to get hurt, not to go too fast and she was literally about to burst.

"80 Columbus Avenue, nine o'clock. And bring your overnight bag." Olivia said.

"80 Columbus Avenue, that's not…Olivia what is that?" Alex said finally breaking from the game.

"I think you should just meet me there ma'am, and remember be ready to spend the weekend." Olivia hung up the phone and headed into the let Cragen know she was leaving.

"Ok Cap, unless you need anything else I am out."

"Nope, did you give those files to Fin?" Cragen asked pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I did."

"Have a good weekend. Enjoy your time off."

"Thanks Captain."

"I mean it, I don't want to see your face again until Monday." The Captain warned, he knew Olivia, great detective but almost too committed to her job.

"No worries Captain." Olivia turned to walk out.

"Hey Olivia." Cragen called after her.

"Yeah Cap." She said swinging back in with the door.

"I'm glad to see a smile on your face again. Tell whoever put it there good work."

Olivia blushed. "I will."

As soon as Alex hung up the phone it started ringing off the hook. It wasn't until she was almost out the door that she typed the address Olivia gave her into her computer to try to get a clue as to where they were going and was stunned to find out that 80 Columbus Avenue was the address of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. She immediately phoned Olivia.

"Benson." Olivia answered as she packed her bag for the night.

"No." Alex said plainly.

"No?" Olivia responded confused.

"No." Alex repeated.

"Ok as much as I am enjoying our two-year-old moment here, I am going to need more information Alex."

"You can't afford it, and honey I don't need it." Alex said.

"I'm still not following I'm sorry." Olivia was trying to figure out what Alex was talking about.

"80 Columbus Avenue is the address of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, it is way too expensive and P.S. we both live here, we don't need a hotel room. I know you want to be romantic but Liv, it is way too much."

"Hey, can I chime in here or are you not going to stop until you ruin our entire weekend." Olivia said she knew it was a little harsh but she didn't like being told what she could and couldn't do for Alex, especially by the woman herself.

Alex was taken back. "Yes of course."

"First off, I know I don't have to. I know that I don't have to win you, or woo you or whatever you want to call it, but I want to. Second, have you been opening my mail? Checking my bank statement? Do you really know what I can and can't afford?"

"Liv, that place it is like 500 a night." Alex pled.

"I didn't realize you were up on the prices of the cities hotels."

"Could you be serious for a moment please?" Alex felt badly for making Olivia feel like she had to defend her generous proposal.

"I am serious Alex, please don't worry about it. I don't know if you have noticed but I don't have a whole lot of a social life, or a lot of free time on my hands. All I do is work; you of all people should know this. Now while I am working do you know what the city of New York is doing? They are paying me. Now the thing about working all the time and not having a moment free is that you spend your time making money and don't really have a lot of time to spend it. It has been hell the last few weeks, something else you should know first hand. We haven't seen each other in too long. I want tonight to be special, and I want to have a weekend where we are pampered and don't have any distractions. So please, don't think about the cost or anything other than meeting me at 80 Columbus Avenue at nine. I am sure I can we can think of some way you can repay me."

Alex didn't want to fight that was for sure, but she still felt like Olivia was always trying to win her, to prove herself to her. She wished she knew she didn't have to try so hard, Alex was already falling in love with her.

"Ok. I'll be there."

"Good. Tell you what, when you get there go to the front desk ask the concierge for my room, I'll leave a key for you."

Alex smiled.

"Ok. I'll be there."

Olivia zipped up her bag and headed for the door, it was nearly eight she had just enough time to get to the room and get things ready. She hoped that Alex realized she just wanted a break and she wanted that break with the woman she was falling in love with.

It was just past nine when Olivia heard the latch on the door of their room on the 52nd floor open and Alex call out. She was just in time. Olivia had just finished lighting the candles and the bath she'd run was still piping hot. Olivia walked out of the bathroom and over to Alex without saying a word she took her bag and set it aside.

"Olivia Marie Benson you have truly out done yourself." Alex said looking around the room.

"Shhh." Olivia said motioning for Alex to let her take her coat. Alex untied the belt of her trench coat and slipped it off her shoulders. Olivia wasn't the only one who could do surprises. Olivia stood in awe of the beautiful blonde before her in what had to be the sexiest black slip she'd ever seen. Olivia pulled her closer and kissed her.

"You look amazing." Olivia said as Alex ran her hands over Olivia's satin robe.

"I'm speechless." Alex really couldn't believe the lengths that Olivia had gone through for her. Olivia took Alex by the hand and led her from the room and into the bathroom. It was filled with dozens of candles; a bubble bath was drawn in the oversized tub, a bottle of champagne sat chilling in a silver bucket nearby. Slowly Olivia led her towards the bath. She didn't want to rush a thing, they had waited this long and she didn't mind stretching it out a little longer. She dropped Alex's hand and turned towards the tub, slowly she lowered her robe. Alex ran her hands over Olivia's strong back and wrapped them around her waist; she gently kissed her neck as she turned her back round to face her. Olivia's eyes locked on hers as she pulled her slip over her head and dropped it on the floor beside them. Olivia ran her hand over Alex's neck to her shoulder and slowly down between her breasts, softly caressing her stomach. She took Alex by the hand and helped her step into the water and sat her down in front of her as they sank into the warm soapy water.

Alex felt the long weeks they'd been through float away on the water as she lay back onto Olivia who softly mindlessly ran a finger up and down her arm.

"Now, isn't this better than our apartments?" Olivia asked squeezing Alex from behind.

"Mmmmmmm" Alex responded eyes shut completely relaxed in the moment.

"Alex." Olivia whispered into her lovers' ear.

"Hmm?" Alex felt as though she had used all her words and there was nothing left to say to Olivia except for maybe one thing.

"Alex, I love you." Olivia continued.

"I love you too." Alex said turning her head so she could see Olivia's face. There it was, the only thing left to say. Alex turned her shoulders to face Olivia and she ran her hand back through her hair. She noticed tears in Olivia's eyes.

"Liv, are you crying?" Alex asked concerned.

"It's ok, I'm ok, actually it's more than ok. I'm sorry. It's just…" Olivia's voice cracked, she paused and cleared her throat. "It's just…I can't remember the last time anyone said that to me." The pain in Olivia's eyes was almost more than Alex could take; she just wanted to wrap her up in her love and never let her go. She had been through so much in her life and seen so many things that no one should ever have to Alex couldn't believe that she had turned out to be such an amazing and loving woman. Life had dealt her the kind of hand that would have left anyone cold and heartless and no one would have blamed her. Olivia seemed to do the opposite she turned all that pain in to love and was just waiting for someone to share it with.

Alex stood up and offered Olivia her hand; she wrapped Olivia in a towel before getting her own. "Come with me." She said taking Olivia back into the other room. Alex led Olivia to the bed and asked her to lie down. Alex dropped her towel at the foot of the bed and stood for a moment enjoying the reaction on Olivia's face. Slowly she crept on to the kind sized bed, very aware of her heart pounding in her chest. Temptation would have her savage her lover right there and it would be over before it had a chance to really begin, Alex didn't think either one of them wanted that. She lay down next to Olivia and caressed her arm gingerly taking in every moment, hoping that she would always be able to remember every last detail of this night. The way Olivia's eyes danced in the candle light, the way she smelled, the way her skin felt, the way her mouth taste. She noticed goose bumps appeared on Olivia's arms.

"Are you cold sweetheart?" She asked.

"No, it's just you. Just this. Us. It's really happening." Olivia smiled.

"I have wanted you for so long." Alex whispered.

Olivia pulled her towel away and leaned over to kiss Alex, she slowly positioned her body above hers, and let her weight fall over her. She began to kiss Alex starting on her neck, moving slowly to her collar bone and back to her mouth. Her hands tangled in her hair as Alex traced her nails up and down Olivia's back. Alex sighed as Olivia broke from their kiss and began her journey back down Alex's body. Olivia's hand caressed Alex's breast as she drew back her lips so they just barely grazed over Alex's nipple, her warm breath and the gentle touch caused Alex to whimper with pleasure.

Olivia rose up on to her knees Alex's body laid between them, she placed her hands on Alex's chest and let her strong fingers work their way back down to her thighs. She had Alex right where she wanted her for so long. Unexpectedly Alex sat up and kissed Olivia begging her to stop teasing, her hand grabbed at the short hair and on the back of Olivia's neck and pulled hard she raked her teeth down her neck from chin to collar bone kissing it hard at the base. She pushed back against Olivia causing her to fall backwards on to the bed. She wasn't going to wait any longer. Alex's kisses were warm and urgent Alex placed them on every inch of Olivia's body, Alex delighted as Olivia writhed in the sheets under her. As she kissed the spot just above Olivia's hip bone she heard her moan her name "Alex." As she grabbed a handful of blonde hair and begged her to finish what she had started.

Alex slowly moved her hand to the spot Olivia wanted it most and rubbed tentatively at first gauging her partner's reaction. She took Olivia's grabbing a hand full of sheets as a sign she was on the right path. She continued her exploration of her partner as she lowered her lips; she closed her eyes as she ran her tongue over the warm moist folds of her partner's skin. Olivia moaned with delight as Alex devoured her, using her fingers as she brought Olivia right up to the edge and pushed her over it. Olivia bucked against Alex, who pushed down on Olivia's hips with both hands, unrelenting with her lips and tongue. Olivia cried out, Alex suddenly felt sorry for any neighboring rooms trying to get a few Z's; with moaning like that she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. With a final jerk of her body and deeply satisfied sigh Alex released her hold, and kissed her way back up Olivia's glistening body. She could taste the subtle taste salt on Olivia's skin and it made her happy to know she was the cause.

"You are…" Olivia started to speak breathless. "That was…" She tried again. "Wow." Olivia finally managed to wrap her head around a word that was small enough to get out yet still conveyed her thoughts. Alex nuzzled in her lovers neck and ran her hand over her stomach. Olivia propped herself up on her elbow and brought her hand to Alex's cheek, she rolled over on top of her, eye to eye and toe to toe Olivia took Alex's mouth in a deep hard kiss, Alex moaned as she ran her hand down to her breast and gently tugged at her nipple. Olivia drove her knee between the blonde's legs and Alex called out her name. Olivia knew it would just be mean to make her wait any longer. She lowered herself further down Alex's body and slipped her fingers inside the warmth between her legs. Alex sank her nails into Olivia's shoulder, it was apparent Alex knew what she wanted and was commanding Olivia to give it to her. Who was she to deny a woman what she wanted? Olivia took it slowly she wanted to repay every mind blowing second that Alex had given her. As her moans grew louder Olivia knew she was close, so she lay her arm across her hips and leaned her weight into it her partner. Alex tried to raise her hips but Olivia kept her pinned down until Alex exploded in a slew of expletives that would make a sailor blush. Olivia couldn't believe her ears Alex 'ADA' Cabot, pristine princess, dictionary like vocabulary reduced to four letter words.

Alex lay spent, and panting as Olivia clawed her way back to the top of the bed.

Olivia looked over at Alex and smiled, apparently she looked at her lover long enough to make her curious.

"What?" Alex said smiling from ear to ear.

"Nothing." Olivia chuckled pulling the sheet up over them.

"Oh no, you aren't getting off that easy." Alex said rolling over to look at Olivia eye to eye.

"I wouldn't say I got off easy." Olivia said with a wink.

"Very funny, now why are you smiling?"

"Really, after all that you are asking me why I am smiling."

"I know you, you've got that 'I've got something on Alex' look on your face."

"I have no such look."

"Yes you do and you're giving it right now!" Alex tackled Olivia and pinned her hands above her head. "Now tell me why you are smiling." She demanded.

"Alex, I'm a cop you think I can't get out of this?" Olivia smiled.

"Oh, I think you can. I just don't think you want to. Now why are you smiling?"

"It's nothing."

"_Olivia_." Alex said taking her hands off Olivia's arms, she began to tickle Olivia. Olivia screeched and bucked below her weight laughing hysterically.

"Ok. Ok. Ok." She managed to get out between cackles, trying to catch her breath.

"If only the bad guys knew, forget guns, bring Detective Benson down with tickle torture." Alex smiled. "Now spill."

"I was just thinking how, I didn't think I had ever heard you say one curse word ever and suddenly I think I just heard you say them all." Olivia laughed as Alex turned bright red and buried her face in a pillow.

"Alex." Olivia giggled touching her shoulder. "Come on sweetie, I was just teasing."

"I can never look at you again." Alex's voice was muffled by the pillow.

"Now that would just break my heart."

"I blame you." Alex said rolling back over.

"Me? What did I do?"

"You blew my mind, I was rendered temporarily insane, I can not be held responsible for my behavior. There is not a jury in the world who wouldn't back me up once presented the facts."

"Well I say case dismissed." Olivia said kissing Alex on the forehead.

Alex looked over Olivia; there was not one thing that she would change about the woman sitting in front of her. She was to Alex perfect. She'd never been with anyone that she could so easily shift gears with. One moment they are in the heat of passion, the next laughing until it hurts.

The two lay back down and Alex settled in to the crook of Olivia's arm. The safety she felt when wrapped in her arms didn't come from the fact that she was a detective, but from feeling like no matter what she said, or did Olivia Benson would still love her at the end of the day. Just as she was about to sleep she whispered into the dark. "I love you."

Olivia moved closer to Alex and kissed her shoulder "I love you too."


	5. Risk

**Risk.**

"Ugh…Alex, how can you of all people, an educated woman, a lawyer watch this?" Olivia asked flopping onto the sofa with her bag of Oreos.

"Why I don't know what you mean? This isn't how law enforcement works?" Alex said picking up the remote and changing the channel. "What would _you_ like to watch dear?"

"Anything but this." Olivia said twisting her Oreo open and taking a lick of frosting catching Alex's eye.

"Oh, how about that, look it's your favorite show…" Alex mocked as she stopped on the one show Olivia had ever said anything positive about.

"It's not my favorite show, I just said there is nothing like a woman in scrubs, and if I recall I didn't hear you arguing." Olivia sat the two cookie halves of her Oreo aside and picked up another, twisted and started to lick the center when she felt Alex's eyes on her. "What." Olivia said tongue still hanging out of her mouth.

Olivia licked the white frosting and watched the television blankly.

"Seriously Liv, you've got to stop that."

"Whop wha.." Olivia said mouth full.

"Stop licking that icing like that." Alex said.

"Geez. Sorry." Olivia said putting the bag down.

"Oh honey, I think you are misunderstanding me. I'm not irritated."

"You sure seem like it."

"In that case, I had no idea that my irritated and my extremely turned on look were so similar." Alex grabbed a cookie from the bag and straddled Olivia's lap.

"Hmmmm." Olivia said smiling.

Alex twisted open the cookie and held it frosting out toward Olivia's mouth. Smiling ear to ear Olivia licked the frosting maintaining eye contact with her beautiful captor; she took the cookie from Alex's hand and turned it around offering it to her. Alex took a lick of frosting and laughed.

"You're right, that _is_ really sexy. Oh but you've got some icing right..." Olivia kissed Alex. "Here…" She kissed her again. "On…" And again. "Your lip." Alex didn't let her get away from her again as she grabbed the back of the couch she effectively pinned Olivia between her arms and kissed her. Olivia couldn't believe her luck, when Alex broke their kiss just long enough to remove her t-shirt, Olivia kissed her neck and caressed her skin.

"I am so glad I didn't get Fig Newtons." Olivia said as Alex started working the buttons of her shirt.

"Well, just for future reference." Alex said struggling with a button. "If you're going to eat Oreos, you've got to wear a t-shirt or sweat shirt or something." Alex threw her hands in the air frustrated by the buttons.

Olivia laughed and unbuttoned the remaining buttons on her shirt.

"You're so cute when you're frustrate, why would I make it easy for you?"

"Oh Liv, you're always easy for me." Alex said pushing her back on to the couch. Alex kissed her neck as she fumbled this time successfully with the button on Olivia's jeans and made quick work of their removal.

"Olivia Benson…"

"Mmmmm."

"Detective, you're not wearing any underwear."

"What?!" Olivia looked down feigning shock.

Alex shook her head as she lowered it back down to Olivia's stomach and made circles with her tongue as her thumb mimicked the movement in a more intimate location.

"Shit Alex." Olivia moaned.

That was all the encouragement Alex needed she lowered her lips and began to devour her lover, teasing with her fingers as she pleasured with her tongue. Olivia had sworn every time they made love that it couldn't possibly be better than the time before, but it seemed like every time Alex surprised her. What started with a bag of Oreos was turning into on of the most intense orgasms of her life. As she clutched the cushion of the couch and tried to contain her screams of ecstasy, her cell phone began to ring. She slapped awkwardly toward the coffee table where it lay trying to make it stop. Alex grabbed her hand and pulled it back to her not wanting work or the world to come between them at the moment.

"Alex…" Olivia said breathless followed by a moan. "Alex, I have to…"

Alex sat straight up on her knees obviously very annoyed with the detective's job at the moment. She looked at the clock it was past one, looked like she would be sleeping alone again tonight.

"Benson." Olivia answered; she mouthed the words 'I'm sorry.' To Alex who had gone from annoyed to pissed off before her very eyes. "Ok. I'll be right there." Olivia said hanging up the phone. "I'm sorry Alex, I'm sorry. I'm on call, you've got to understand it's my job." Alex rolled off Olivia as she searched for her discarded clothes.

"I know."

"Believe me I would rather be here than anywhere else." Olivia said as she pulled up her jeans and picked up her bra.

"Really Olivia you don't have to explain, I know the drill."

Five minutes later Olivia was dressed and stood over Alex.

"I'm sorry honey, I'm just doing my job. I love you, I'll try to make it fast."

"Don't bother. I'm going to sleep…alone." Alex knew that she was hitting below the belt but she was disappointed and unfulfilled.

"I'll make up for it I promise." Olivia said with a wink, but Alex was in no mood for cute. "Ok, well I'm off." Olivia said kissing Alex on the forehead and walking to the door.

"I love you." Alex called after her.

Alex was pissed but she knew better than to not tell Olivia she loved her as she walked out the door. Anything could happen when she left for work, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if something happened and the last thing she said to her was hurtful.

"I love you too."

Alex woke up the next morning and found Olivia's side of the bed still empty. She hadn't been home all night; she knew where ever Olivia was she was probably starving and tired as hell. She wanted to pick up an extra coffee and scone when she made her stop and bring it to Olivia but it would raise too many eyebrows. So she just got one coffee, but she still picked up an extra scone. She figured she might be able to pass it off as an ordering accident and give it to Olivia.

She walked into the squad room and made a point to not walk directly to Olivia's desk. In her mind she would walk in and stand behind Olivia at her desk, kiss her forehead, hand her the scone and the extra coffee she would have been able to buy and ask to be filled in on the case. In reality she had to be careful not to give anyone a clue that the woman Olivia had been seeing for the last eight weeks was standing before them, still a little pissed off that she was called away before she had a chance to reciprocate Alex's passion for Oreos.

"Alex, can I see you for a second?" Olivia said taking her arm and pulling her into an interview room.

"Detective Benson, what can I do for you." Alex said as they passed Munch and Fin.

"Alex, I need you to get me a warrant." Olivia said her voiced hushed; she had that look in her eyes that Alex knew all too well.

"I'm going to need more than that detective."

"Last night, we worked this case it was awful Alex, thirteen year old girl raped beaten and left for dead, her six year old sister is missing. The mother's dirt bag boyfriend is our guy, I know it Alex."

"What have you got on him."

"His alibi is weak at best, his knuckles are ripped to hell, I know he did this and if he did it he knows where that little girl is, if she is still alive."

"What's his alibi?"

"He says he was at work, some monkey wrench place until 10 and then went to a bar where no one remembers seeing him until he came home and found us there."

"What's his story for the hands?"

"Work hazard."

"Well Olivia he is a mechanic…"

"This is our guy Alex I know it, we need an arrest warrant and we need it now, before he leaves with that little girl and is in the wind."

"What about DNA evidence; do we have anything concrete that links him to the rape and the kidnapping?"

"Elliot said you'd shut me down. I thought I might be able to convince you. Alex, please for me." Olivia plead.

"I'm sorry Olivia I cannot ask a judge to sign a warrant based on your feeling, and I will not put my credibility on the line because you need a favor. I need more, get me something tying the dirt bag boy friend to the crime and I'll get you your warrant."

"I told you…" Olivia's phone rang interrupting them. "Benson. Uh-huh, yes. When? Shit." Olivia closed her phone and flopped on to the table.

"The evidence you have it circumstantial at best, his alibi might be shaky but this case is shakier. What about the girl can she ID him?"

"I doubt it, since she just died." Olivia said.

"I'm sorry Olivia."

"This bastard has raped and killed one girl and he has the other stashed somewhere. You can't be brick walling me on this Alex."

"I'm sorry Olivia, it's my job, you have to understand." Alex threw Olivia's words back in her face.

"Is that what this is about? You're pissed off I had to leave last night?" Olivia whispered angrily in her ear.

"Don't you dare make this about us Olivia. You know I can't do this, I can't believe you are even asking me!" Alex wanted to knock her block off for suggesting she was withholding justice based on her personal feelings from the night before. "Get me DNA, get me something more concrete and I will be more than happy to get you a warrant detective."

Alex stormed out of the interview room, and made a b-line for the elevators. She couldn't be there for one second longer. This is why you don't date your co-workers. This is just the kind of thing that would get them both fired if they weren't careful. It was clear to Alex in that moment if she and Olivia were going to stay together; one of them was going to have to leave SVU.

Two hours later Alex was still pacing in her office. She desperately wanted that phone to ring, Olivia's gut was almost never wrong but she couldn't go sending her on a witch hunt without evidence. Alex was still mad she had even asked her for that kind of favor. That she even thought that because of their relationship she would compromise both of their careers drove Alex insane. Still she couldn't stop thinking about the dead girl and her little sister who was somewhere out there, Olivia thought she knew where she was, who had her but had nothing concrete to back it up there was nothing she could do. It was tearing her up, if she did what she was thinking about doing she could lose everything she had worked for. If she didn't and Olivia was right and the little girl died, she didn't know if she would be able to live with herself.

Alex picked up the phone.

"You've got you're warrant, you'd better get a confession or the DNA or it'll be all our asses." Alex said and hung up the phone. She couldn't believe she gave in, she couldn't believe Olivia had put her in that position.

Alex made her way to the prescient to watch the interrogation, Olivia was right the guy was a dirt bag, but he had better be the right dirt bag.

"How did you get a warrant for this guy Alex?" Cragen asked.

"Let's just say he better be our guy." Alex replied listening closely to Olivia as she questioned the suspect.

"I'm going to go check with Elliot see if the M.E. has anything on DNA from the dead girl." Cragen said excusing himself.

Olivia knew Alex had put a lot on the line to get her this guy, she wasn't going to squander the opportunity before her, she was running on a bluff but she knew she could get him to crack.

"Where is she Gordon?" Olivia asked.

"I told you I don't know, you've got the wrong guy." The smirk on his face was not convincing, and when he chuckled a bit Olivia lost it.

"What's so funny."

"You have no idea what you're doing here; you have no idea who you are messing with lady."

"Oh, why don't you fill me in then?"Olivia got in his face and stared him down. "What's the matter cat got your tongue? Don't know what to do when you're confronted by someone your own size Gordon? Hmm, is it easier to get respect from little defenseless girls? Hmmm? Where is she Gordon?"

Alex watched as the anger grew on the mans face, she knew he was cuffed but she worried for Olivia provoking him that way, and where was Cragen anyway, and Elliot.

"I don't talk to bitches."

"Is that the best you've got Gordon? You're right, I am bitch. You've pissed off the wrong bitch. You can call me a bitch all you want but you are one dumb son of a bitch. No one can remember you at the bar Gordon, we know that the attack happened somewhere in the neighborhood of eleven because the clock that you grabbed off the night stand and beat her with was stopped at eleven thirty. What did you do Gordon hmm? Did Valarie fight back too much? Is that why you killed her? She couldn't stand the sight of your ugly mug, you repulsed her so much, she puked all over you, yeah that's right, we saw the vomit on the floor by the bed where you raped her. So what she fought you too much, so you beat her and left her for dead? Is that what happened? You beat her and you left her for dead, but you weren't leaving that sweet little girl behind were you…so you took her, so you could enjoy her later. Is that it you sick fuck, where is she!" Olivia kicked his chair.

"You're never going to find her." Gordon said with a laugh. Alex couldn't believe her ears.

"Tell us where she is Gordon, do yourself a favor, you're already looking at murder one, rape, shall I go on? Where…is…she!" Olivia got right in his face almost nose to nose as she yelled.

Gordon leapt from the chair and before Olivia could react Gordon had the hand cuffs over her head and wrapped around her throat. Olivia tried to call out but she couldn't.

Alex ran for the door and called out into the squad room.

"A little help in here!" As she ran back into the interview room.

"Who the fuck are you!" Gordon yelled.

"Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot, and I'm telling you, you want to let her go." Alex felt a hand on her shoulder as Elliot pulled her out of the room and entered. Olivia knew better than to struggle against the criminal, it would only cause her to lose consciousness sooner.

"Gordon let her go." Elliot commanded his firearm pulled. "Gordon, you don't want to do this. You're in enough trouble already, DNA is back we've got your DNA in the victim, we know it was you. Now let her go, this isn't her fault. Be a man. Let her go." Olivia felt her knees going weak.

"Why doesn't he shoot." Alex plead watching with Cragen through the glass.

"If he shoots and Gordon moves he could kill Olivia, she's ok she's still conscious and Elliot has got him on the ropes. There is no where for him to go and he knows it."

"Gordon!" Elliot yelled. "If you kill my partner, I've got no choice, I've got a license to kill, let her go and no one gets hurt here today."

Olivia closed her eyes, Elliot knew it was now or never.

"Let her go!"

Gordon threw his hands up and kicked Olivia out from in front of him and on to the floor. Elliot rushed Gordon and slammed him into the wall.

"Where is the girl asshole." Elliot said as he crushed him into the cinderblock.

Alex and Cragen pulled Olivia out into his office as three more officers went in to help Elliot deal with Gordon. Alex felt her heart pound in her chest. She couldn't help but feel like this was all her fault, if she hadn't bent the rules, this never would have happened. Olivia was stirring but hadn't opened her eyes as the paramedics arrived. Soon as she realized what was happening she began to fight against the EMT's.

"I'm fine." She said as she tried to push off the oxygen mask.

"Olivia you take that oxygen, this minute." Cragen ordered.

Alex found herself in the gut wrenching predicament of keeping their secret and needing to know Olivia was ok.

"We're going to take her down, get her checked out." One of the medics told Cragen.

"I'll ride along." Alex offered taking Olivia's hand in hers.

"Go, go." Cragen said shooing them out.

Other than passing out from lack of oxygen and some bruises on her neck from the handcuffs, Olivia was fine. Her doctor decided to keep her for observation and oxygen for four hours. Once they arrived at the hospital the medics made Alex wait in the lobby until after she'd seen the doctor.

"Hey." Olivia said when Alex finally appeared in the doorway to her room.

"Hey? You're nearly killed before my eyes and all you have to say is hey." Alex walked over and sat on the edge of her bed.

"He wasn't going to kill me. He needed to talk, he wanted to talk."

"You're right he did talk. Elliot and Fin just went and picked up the girl, a few bumps and bruises but he hadn't raped her." Alex knew the news would put a smile on her face.

"Thank God." Olivia said allowing her head to sink into the pillow.

"I should never have given you that warrant." Alex said taking off her glasses, she might live a thousand years and never stop feeling guilty about that.

"I know." Olivia touched Alex's hand in reassurance.

"It will never happen again."

"I know."

"I love you so much." Alex leaned in and whispered, running a hand through Olivia's hair.

"I know."

Alex wanted to kiss her and hold her and tell her how stupid she had been, and how they had to be smarter about this, she had already made up her mind. Starting in the morning she would be looking for the opportunity to get transferred from SVU. She loved Olivia too much to take anymore chances with their jobs, and she loved her too much to keep hiding.


	6. Quarrel

I hope you like the first part of this two part chapter everyone! Let me know! Thanks.

Paige

Quarrel.

"So I think I have to tell Elliot." Olivia said closing Alex's office door as she entered.

Alex was studying a file and sipping on a Diet Coke.

"Mmmhmm." Alex said, turning in her chair in the direction of her girlfriend but not looking up from her work.

"Did you hear what I just told you?" Olivia asked, sure that this conversation wasn't going to be this easy.

"Mmmhmm." Alex turned the page in the folder she was reviewing.

"Are you trying to drive me insane right now?" Olivia crossed the room to stand directly in front of Alex's desk.

"Mmmhmm." Alex said finally looking up from her papers and smiling wide allowing a small laugh to escape.

"Jerk." Olivia teased sitting down.

"Oh, now don't get nasty." Alex said standing up and walking behind Olivia and resting her hands on each shoulder.

"So you heard what I said, I think I have to tell Elliot." Olivia craned her neck trying to look at the woman standing behind her.

"If you think its time to tell him, then I think we should tell him." Alex said sitting on the desk in front of Olivia.

"Really?" Olivia couldn't believe it was that easy.

"Really. I told you I have no intention of hiding my personal life, I am just not going to broadcast it. There is a difference. Elliot is your partner; he's been bugging you about your mystery lady for weeks and frankly the longer we wait to tell him the bigger the blow when we do. If we wait too long it's going to seem like we think we are doing something wrong and like we're hiding from him."

"You keep saying we, are you planning on being there when I tell him?"

"I was thinking I would be, so we could talk and I could decide what I might need to do once he knows."

"What might you need to do?" Olivia asked curious.

"As much as we hope that this won't affect us professionally you know as well as I do it will. I'd like to know what I need to prepare for."

"What do you mean?"

Alex took a deep breath, she knew Olivia wasn't going to like what she was about to hear. "I'm going to step down as ADA for Special Victims. There is a spot opening in homicide, I'm putting in for a transfer so it won't be like I will be out of a job…"

"You can't be serious." Olivia said standing up, she had that look in her eyes the one she got when she felt ambushed.

"Liv, I'm very serious both of our credibility's will be in the cross hairs over this how do you think it will look, SVU detective dating her ADA. It's not good for us either. I'll never forget getting you that warrant. I knew I shouldn't, and look where it got you." Alex did her best to remain calm.

"That was months ago, and I know I was wrong. I meant what I said, I'll never put you in that position again."

"I know you won't, because I am going to transfer out of your unit Olivia. There are so many reasons it isn't a good idea for us to work together. It just looks bad." Alex wanted Olivia to see this as a good thing, but she could tell she only felt like she was being rejected.

"You said yourself we aren't in the Stone Age." Olivia snapped.

"Yes, I did and I meant it. Damn it Olivia this isn't a about being gay, this is about propriety in our field. Every case that you've worked and I've prosecuted would be under a microscope and who knows what the courts will decide. The defense attorney's in our cases will have a field day when word gets round. Cases will be appealed, motions for verdicts to be overturned; this isn't just about you and I. If anyone thinks that I have pulled strings to cover your ass or vice versa, it could be devastating for both of us."

"Of course we've covered each others asses; we're on the same team. That's what we do, it works, it is what puts the bad guys behind bars, what puts a needle in their arm." Olivia was shaking so she sat back down; she felt like someone had taken her world and turned it upside down. She couldn't imagine SVU without Alex and she really didn't want to.

"I know that and you know that but Olivia I'm just not sure that I can stay in SVU and I couldn't ask you to leave."

"If I ask Elliot not to tell, he won't he can be discrete." Olivia said standing up and pacing around the room.

"Liv, it's not just Elliot. We aren't exactly hiding out, we're out. We go places we do things. Honestly we've been very lucky that no one has seen us yet."

"So we start being smarter. No PDA's, if anyone see's us there is no crime in hanging out with each other outside the office."

"No there isn't but Olivia I don't want to hide. I want to be able to hold your hand, or kiss you in the middle of time square if I felt like it. I've known that I would have to do this if things got serious between us, and I think you practically living at my apartment qualifies as serious."

"There is no other way?"

"Not that I can think of, one of us will have to leave SVU."

"You're the best ADA we've had Alex I can't be the reason that we don't have you. You put the bad guys away like no one else."

"And you're the one who brings them to me Olivia. SVU is who you are, it is what you do and you do it better than anyone I've ever seen. So they'll assign you a new ADA, worse things have happened."

"Not since I've been with you."

"Olivia, please."

"I won't tell him."

"Liv, I told you it's not just Elliot we have to worry about here. I want to be open with people. I want to finally explain why ice queen Cabot is finally melting." She smiled touching the hand of her partner.

"You love SVU." Olivia argued.

"You love it more. I love you more."

Olivia drew a deep breath. "I don't know Alex, I don't know if I do anymore. I don't know if I can do it anymore. See the things I see, hear the things I hear. It's too hard to go from our bed, our sanctuary to these crimes scenes. I don't know if I can do it any more and I am not sure I want to."

"Since when?" Alex scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Since I found out I might have to do it with out you on my side."

"Olivia, I'll always be on your side whether I am presenting your cases or not. I'm always on your side." Alex rubbed Olivia's back she was careful that any touch she made could easily be explained as friendly should anyone walk in, she hated it but it was how it had to be. She loved the woman standing in front of her and wanted to wrap her in her arms and tell her everything would be all right.

"I know that. I just don't know if I could get through my day, without having you there. Just seeing you reminds me that there is still good in this world and lately it feels like it's the only thing keeping me from doing something I'd regret. Something they'd have my badge for."

"What about Elliot, he's your best friend." Alex argued.

"They'll get him another partner, we'll still be friends." Olivia threw her hands up continuing her pacing about.

Just then someone knocked at the door and peeked in.

"Ms. Cabot you've got a meeting in judges' chambers in ten."

"Right, I am discussing a case with a detective tell them I will be there momentarily."

"Yes ma'am." The intern walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

"Listen we don't have to decide our whole lives right now, but we need to talk about this Olivia." Alex put on her suit coat and picked up her brief case.

"I know." Olivia said looking at the ground.

"It's going to be ok, whatever happens you've got me you know that right." Alex leaned her body into the stronger woman's back and wrapped her hand in hers. She loved her scent and wished she could do more to show her, her love.

"Yeah." Olivia's voice was no more than a whisper.

"Sweetie. I have to go, please don't make this harder than it has to be." Alex kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"Uh huh." Olivia said as she opened the door and took off at a fast pace down the corridor, Alex knew she was mad but there was little she could do at the moment.

"We'll talk about this later?" Alex called after her. Olivia didn't turn around she almost knocked over a uniform making her way through the crowd. "Olivia!" Alex yelled, nothing. Alex felt a knot growing in the pit of her stomach.

"Lovers quarrel?"

Alex stopped dead in her tracks at the comment and turned around.

"You think you are funny Trevor?" Alex snapped.

"Whoa, easy it was just a joke." Trevor replied.

"It's not very funny."

"Sheesh Cabot, what'd she do to rattle your cage."

"It's none of your business. We're late for a meeting in judges' chambers."

"This should be interesting." Trevor said following Alex.

Olivia didn't go directly back to the squad room. She paced the halls, and then took a walk outside, but it was starting to snow and she didn't have her coat so she came back in. She couldn't believe she didn't see this coming, she knew Alex well enough to know that the issue of propriety would be in the forefront of her mind. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't imagine leaving SVU, they were the closest thing to family she had, but she couldn't imagine a scenario where Alex wasn't a huge part of that work family.

Alex stood in judge's chambers unable to concentrate on what she was doing. Trevor rattled off a list of reasons the confession Elliot obtained in interview should be thrown out. Alex went through the motions, but her heart was not in the argument, she felt like she'd just lost one of the biggest arguments of her life. Olivia had to know that she would be thinking about what they were going to do. That is what Alex did she studied, she planned ahead, she looked for the solutions. She wasn't the kind to just wait and see what happened, she had to be proactive. The next thing she knew the judge was dismissing them, allowing the confession but throwing out two articles of trace evidence that Alex didn't feel she needed for a win anyway. As she walked back towards her office she saw Olivia walking towards her.

"Can we talk?" She asked arriving at Alex's side.

"Yes, of course." Alex said.

"Now?"

Alex nodded and the two walked to her office, as they entered she locked the door behind them, she needed to hold Olivia in her arms if only for a moment to feel that everything was going to be ok. Alex stepped closer to her partner and drew her in to her arms.

"I'm sorry I left like that, and I do love you, you know that. I was mad and I shouldn't have ignored you. I'm sorry." Olivia held her partners hand and looked her in the eye.

"I know."

"I love you but I don't know what the answer is here Alex. It's happened before, we wouldn't be the first case of an ADA and a detective getting together."

"Not often, and I would be hard pressed to find a couple it worked out for, it just raises too many eyebrows." Alex took off her jacket and placed it on the back of her chair.

"I don't think this is about eyebrows and propriety I think you are worried about the discrimination, the alienation that we stand to face if we out ourselves as a couple."

" If I'm honest I can't tell you that I haven't thought about that. Right now, it's been just you and me in our own little cocoon, you said it yourself. All the things we see day in day out, coming home with you, to you is the best part of my day. I don't want to hear what anyone else thinks about us. I am ready for the looks, I've got them before. I'm ready for the whispers and the stares. All of that will subside eventually, on its own if we keep our distance professionally, as long as we are working so closely together, our relationship will always be a subject for the gossip mill."

"Let them say what they want to say Alex. I don't care. I love you and I am not going to let you throw away everything you have worked for with Special Victims and I don't know that I am ready to walk away. There will always be people who think our being together is wrong, whether it's because we are two women, or because we work together, they're will always be someone who has something to say Alex. We don't have to listen."

"You're right, we don't and I don't plan to. Olivia, you aren't listening to what I am saying, this isn't about you and me. I am so proud of you, and us. I want to shout from the roof tops how in love I am with Olivia Benson. I want to tell my friends how wonderful my life is with you in it. I want all of that. I don't want anything casting a shadow over that. If I put in a request to move to homicide and then our relationship becomes public there is nothing anyone can do about it. They can't prove when the relationship started, so there is nothing to be done. No one can prove our relationship so any accusation of bias based on our personal relationship doesn't have a leg to stand on. If we walk out there hand in hand while I'm still SVU's ADA, it would be a circus and who knows what Donnelly will have to say about it. Even if I want to stay with SVU the chances of her reassigning me are high, and then it won't be a choice, I could end up anywhere."

"Let's go talk to Donnelly, see what she has to say." Olivia pled taking Alex's hand.

"Olivia." It was breaking Alex's heart that she was hurting her, but she knew Olivia. She was just fighting to protect herself, to keep things the way they were comfortable.

"What, I want to hear it from her. I want to see what she thinks we should do. We start with Donnelly we see what she thinks we do, we go from there."

"You can't be serious!" Alex shouted exasperated.

"I am dead serious Alex."

"You want me to walk in to my Bureau Chiefs office and what say 'Hello Liz, you know Olivia, we've been screwing like teenagers for the last five months!?' I don't think so."

"Oh is that what we're doing 'screwing like teenagers', funny I thought we were having a relationship, my mistake. I guess we don't have to worry about telling anyone since we've just had a string of booty calls that ran together." Olivia's words shot like venom from her tongue.

"Liv, that isn't what I meant and you know it." Alex felt a lump in her throat.

"You can be so cruel sometimes." Olivia's nerves were on edge, she felt like she was about to loose her whole world.

"I'm not cruel Olivia, I seem to be the only one of us who is thinking with her head and not her heart. Don't doubt for a second how I feel about you, don't you dare, but one of us has to think about this from a professional stand point."

"What is it, you don't want to work with me anymore?"

"Don't be a martyr Liv. If it was up to me we'd put on red capes and boots and fly around riding the world of all sexual deviants until the end of time but that isn't how the real world works and you know it!" Alex took off her glasses and rubbed her temples, she felt like she could cry. It wasn't like they hadn't argued before, at work mostly but the occasional lovers spat at home, but nothing like this, nothing that stood to affect their relationship in the long term.

"I need to get some air." Olivia said after a very long moment, knew Alex was right, and she hated it.

"Liv."

"No, Alex, you're right, one of us is going to have to leave. I need to go think about whether or not it should be me." Olivia kissed Alex on the cheek and unlocked the door.

Alex let her walk out of her office without another word, she knew she needed time to think, cool off. Alex sat back down at her desk and picked up the file she had been looking at when Olivia first walked in and read over it one more time, when she finished she picked up a pen and twirled it. She thought again about what Olivia had said her mind was made up, she wasn't going to let Olivia leave SVU, so she signed the bottom of the form. Tomorrow she would give it to Donnelly and the wheels for her transfer would start turning.

Alex was already in bed when Olivia got home that night, she looked at the clock it was after two.

"Olivia." Alex whispered into the dark.

"Its me, go back to sleep." Olivia whispered. Alex heard her undo her belt and put her gun in the drawer of the night stand, and felt her weight on the edge of the bed as she sat to take of her shoes. Olivia walked into the bathroom and turned on the water in the shower without saying another word. Alex lay silent in their bed she couldn't decide if she should just wait until morning or try to go talk to Olivia. Her need to be near Olivia won out over logic and she went to the bathroom door and knocked lightly as she opened the door and entered the steam filled room, she heard Olivia sniffing from behind the curtain.

"Olivia, is everything all right." Alex asked knowing it wasn't Olivia didn't cry for no reason that was for sure.

"No. I don't think it is." Olivia said between sobs.

"Olivia honey, I know this is hard for you, it's hard for me to but it's the right thing, I'm turning in my request for a transfer in the morning."

"Ok." Olivia said defeated.

"Olivia, why are you crying." Alex said as the water stopped.

Olivia opened the curtain and looked at Alex.

"I'm just so sorry." Olivia said Alex knew there was more to what was going on than just their argument earlier in the day. She took Olivia in her arms and held her for dear life, she didn't know what had happened between her office and now, but she could tell there was something Olivia wasn't telling her. Alex relaxed her embrace and looked at Olivia. "I shouldn't have left like that." Olivia said.

"Dry off and come to bed, we'll talk." Alex said pushing back a piece of Olivia's dripping wet hair.

Moments later Olivia crawled into bed and curled up at Alex's side resting her head on Alex's chest she lay quiet listening to the sound of her lovers heart in her chest.

"I…was…so…scared." Olivia said emphasizing each word as she spoke it.

"Scared of what Liv?." Alex was desperate for her to believe that.

"Losing you. I felt like I was losing you, and I lost my head. I've never felt like that before, I've never had anything I was scared to loose."

"Look at me." Alex commanded rolling on her side so she could make eye contact. "You aren't loosing me Olivia. You aren't, not now, not tomorrow and if I have my way not ever. I love you, and I know you haven't had a lot of people say that to you in your life, but you should also know I haven't said it a lot. I mean what I say Olivia, I love you." She leaned down and kissed Olivia. Olivia reached up and wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled her over on top of her. She needed to feel the weight of her partner on her body and feel as close physically to her partner as she felt emotionally to her always.

As they made love it became clear to Olivia she was never in danger of loosing the woman she loved. Their jobs might change, but that never would. The next morning before they headed out the door Alex stopped Olivia.

"I see Donnelly at ten, I'm going to come by the squad room to tell everyone I plan on leaving when we're done."

"Ok, I'll be there." Olivia said forcing a smile.

"It's going to be ok."

"I know."

"And we'll tell Elliot and Cragen after I make my announcement."

"Ok."

"Soon Liv I'm going to be able to walk into that squad room and kiss you hello, or take you to lunch without grabbing paper work. This is going to be the best thing for us."

"I know it is, I can't wait. I really can't. I'll be able to put your picture on my desk, I'm just sad you won't be sitting on it telling me all the reasons you can't get me a warrant or grilling me for just one more piece of evidence so you can nail some SOB in the court room. I fell in love with you at that desk." Olivia smiled and kissed Alex.

"You know when I fell in love with you?" Alex asked.

"Hmmmm the moment you saw my badge? Hmm Alex Cabot are you a badge bunny?"

"No, but close. The first time you came at me pissed off about a case. The passion you showed, if I didn't like my job and wasn't terrified you'd slap me I'd have thrown you on my desk right then." Alex made a growling noise and laughed.

"Ok, I'll see you later today. If you need me you know where to find me."

"That I do. Oh, here." Alex went back into the kitchen and came back holding a travel mug and a donut.

"Is this a cop joke?"

"More like my attempt at being June Cleaver, how am I doing?"

"You are way sexier than June Cleaver." Olivia kissed her and walked out the door.


	7. Confession

**Confession.**

Alex knocked on the door to Donnelly's office; she held the file with her transfer request in her hand. The nerves built in her stomach as the door opened and she was asked to come inside.

"Come in Alex." Elizabeth Donnelly said as she walked back in to her office. Alex closed the door behind them and was tempted to lock it, while she was ready to tell her secret she wasn't ready for it to immediately be fodder for the gossip mill.

"You needed to see me?" Liz asked.

"Yes. I did, can we sit?" Alex asked gesturing to the leather club chairs sitting in the corner of her office.

"Ok." Liz stared Alex up and down. She wasn't quite sure she'd ever seen her brightest ADA quite so nervous before, at least without having a big trail pending.

"I guess, there are parts of this conversation that I have to ask be between you and I because of their delicate nature…"

"Alex whatever is said in this office is confidential, are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, I'm not in trouble. In fact I am doing my best to avoid it, which is why I prepared this." Alex said handing the folder over to her superior. Elizabeth took the folder and read its contents, when she finished she looked back at Alex with an inquisitive look.

"I thought you enjoyed working with the special victims unit Alex."

"I did…I do. I just can't anymore for reasons pertaining to my personal life." Alex was never comfortable outing herself to people who hadn't first inquired, she felt like she was putting too much out there. No one had ever come up to her and informed her of their sexual preference, so telling others of hers seemed improper, even crude.

"It's hard prosecuting those cases Alex, you've always done a very good job at remaining objective and presenting the facts and getting your conviction, I am afraid I don't understand why you would want to walk away from that. May I ask about this personal issue that you are having? Maybe I can help you in some way?"

"I'm afraid that my objectivity may be blurred because of a personal relationship I have established with one of the SVU detectives." Alex admitted and in the same moment that she was mortified she had started a conversation about a personal relationship with her boss, she also felt relived that her relationship was finally coming to the surface.

"Oh, well that is a problem."

"We've been seeing each other for a few months, testing the waters. I wasn't going to say anything unless I thought that it might get out and shed a bad light on this office. Over the last few weeks it has become apparent that this is a relationship worth pursing and by doing so I have to step down to maintain the credibility of this office."

"I see." Liz said looking over the form again. "Alex, I know it is none of my business but my curiosity can't help but ask you…"

"Olivia Benson."

Donnelly's eyes looked like they might pop out of her head.

"I…I had no idea counselor."

"By design ma'am, I didn't want my sexuality to overshadow my abilities." Alex admitted, she remembered making that choice. That her career would be more important than her relationships, she wasn't the same person she was then and she knew it. She couldn't be sure that it would be different had she been more open with her personal life, but she also couldn't be sure she wouldn't be chasing ambulances or trying cases involving rent disputes and unpaid parking tickets.

"Alex, you should know better than that, this office nor its counter parts can hold your sexuality against you when filling positions."

"Not legally ma'am but things happen, if two applicants walk in with two equal track records and credentials the only difference is one is gay…"

"We look harder, we go back further and we pick the more qualified applicant." Donnelly looked sternly at Alex for suggesting that her office would do such a thing.

"Yes ma'am."

"So, Thompson leaving homicide provides an opportunity for you to transfer, which I will grant but I am curious Alex, are planning on continuing this game of smoke and mirrors?"

"No ma'am, which is why I am here. We plan on no longer keeping our relationship a secret. This transfer is imperative for that to happen, we both realize that."

"You're right about that. I appreciate your respect for your position Alex, I'd have hated to have to make this decision for you."

"Thank you ma'am."

"Alex, you can stop kissing up now. I'll put through the transfer; you'll clear your docket and be reassigned."

"I really do appreciate this Liz."

"You're welcome. Are you ready for this Alex?"

"I think the transition from SVU to homicide will be smooth, I've been brushing up on homicide proceedings for a while and I think it will be a good fit."

"I'm sure you're record won't suffer Alex, I am talking about you. Are you ready for this, as a friend, I am asking you if you are ready for the fall out."

"I don't know. I mean I'm not sure. I can't hide anymore I know that. I never intended to hide who I am, it just kind of worked out that way. I never lied, I never said anything that wasn't true when asked. People would ask if I was seeing anyone, I'd say no one special. Men would ask me out, and I would just politely decline. I never said was gay, but I never said I wasn't. I am thirty-three years old and I have never had my worlds collide, I never have had a reason to want them to."

"And you do now?" Liz asked.

"I think so."

"Good. You deserve it counselor."

"Thank you."

"I can't tell you what to do in your personal life Alex, but may I make a suggestion?"

"Of course."

"I understand your desire to share your relationship, and I am sure you're departure from SVU will be meet with many questions, but it might be best to let word work its way out slowly, perhaps even wait before telling others the entire reason for your separation to avoid scrutiny."

"Olivia and I have discussed this and other than Captain Cragen and her partner we don't plan on telling anyone else at the moment. We don't have any illusions about being able to maintain secrecy we haven't tried to hide our relationship anywhere other than work and we don't plan on starting, but we won't be standing out front chanting or anything."

"It sounds like you've thought this through."

"I…we've agonized about this for a while yes. We decided together this was best for everyone."

"Well unless there is anything else?" Donnelly asked as she stood.

"No, that pretty much covers it." Alex said taking her first deep breath of the entire conversation. Alex was almost to the door when Donnelly spoke again.

"Alex, for what it's worth, I think it's a really brave thing you're doing. You must really care for her."

"For what it's worth Liz, I love her." Alex said with a smile closing the door behind her.

Olivia could hardly concentrate on her work, she fidgeted in her chair and tried to find something to occupy her mind other than the thoughts of how Alex's conversation with Donnelly was going, and what she was going to say in her own with Elliot and the Captain. When Alex came walking in just before noon smiling Olivia reluctantly knew they had made the right decision. She didn't realize how long it had been since she had seen her smile like that, she has smiled sure but it was the kind of smile you'd have when you were trying to convince everyone you were ok. It was nothing like the way she was glowing now. Olivia felt badly that she had even suggested they try harder to hide their relationship and profoundly happy that sharing it with someone put that smile on her face.

"Elliot, do you have a minute?" Alex said walking up to Elliot at his desk.

"Sure Alex, what's up?"

"Is the captain in his office?" She asked looking at Olivia, sharing an it's now or never look.

"Uh, yeah I think so."

"Great, can I see you both for a moment in there?" Alex asked.

"Sure." Elliot said.

Olivia took a deep breath, before nodding. "Yeah."

The three of them walked in to Cragen's office, and Olivia shut the door.

"Sir can we have a word with you and Elliot." Olivia said standing beside Alex.

"Yes, Olivia, Alex what's going on."

"Don I just wanted you to be the first to know I have put in a request to be transferred to homicide. It should go through in the next couple of weeks, I will finish my current cases, after that the DA will assign you a new ADA."

"Well Alex, I am very sorry to hear that, and I must say I don't understand. Why?" The Captain looked hurt and confused, which made Alex realize just how much his team meant to him and she was part of that team.

Alex started to speak, but Olivia got to the answer before she could.

"It's all right Alex, I'll explain." Olivia said with a smile.

"We, have given it a lot of thought and both of us being a member of this team leaves us, this unit, the DA's office and our victims at too big of a risk for scrutiny considering our personal relationship."

"Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second…." Elliot piped up for the first time. "What personal relationship…Liv you've been…with…Alex?"

Cragen couldn't have looked more confused if he tried, his face vacant, his eyes searching for a way this made sense.

"Olivia and I have been quietly dating for the last five months." Alex said explaining herself.

"You…but…Alex is straight." Elliot continued to talk to Olivia as if Alex wasn't even there.

"Actually Elliot, I'm not." Alex said trying to engage him in conversation with her as well.

"Nah no, no, Alex, I've seen you, Liv and I both have seen you out with that air bag Trevor."

"Trevor and I are colleges Elliot nothing more, I know this comes as a shock to both of you." Alex explained.

"Captain?" Olivia asked searching for acceptance in Cragen's eyes, as far as father figures went he was the closest thing Olivia had ever had. She couldn't get a read on him at the moment and it was scaring her.

"I'm sorry I don't know what to say Olivia, Alex. I had...I can't believe I didn't see it, before I mean." Cragen still wracked his brain for answers to the questions his brain was firing off at an alarming rate.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked trying to get a less hostile response from her partner.

"I dunno Liv, I just, I dunno. I can't believe you didn't tell me before." Elliot looked hurt and angry with his partner.

"I wanted to Elliot, but I wanted to make sure we were solid before I outted her."

"Oh so telling me is outing her? You think I am the kind of guy who's gonna run my mouth around here Liv, you really think I'm that guy?"

"No of course not El I…"

"This is you, you told her not to tell me didn't you? You know what happens when partners can't trust each other Alex? Do you have any idea what happens when I can't be sure what is in that woman's head at every moment? When I don't know if I can trust her because I feel like she is hiding something from me?"

"Whoa El this isn't her fault."

"Back off Elliot." Cragen warned.

"It's ok Don, Olivia, its ok. He's pissed off. I didn't expect you to throw a parade. I knew the longer we waited to tell you, the harder and more personally you would take finding out. I am truly sorry we put you in that position, we thought a lot about this and we didn't want to upset our lives until we thought there was good reason. I understand you need to trust her, so you two can watch each others backs, I know that. I didn't like hiding from you one bit, but you have to understand the position both Liv and I are putting ourselves in by unveiling our relationship. This is why I put in for the transfer, when word gets round, which it will, it could get really ugly. We wanted you two to know so you weren't blind sided and because you two are important to both of us and we're going to need all the friends we can get."

"Who else knows?" Cragen asked before Elliot could make a rebuttal.

"Other than the two of you just Donnelly and Alex's mother." Olivia answered.

"And how long do you intend to keep it that way?" He continued.

"We don't know. We haven't been hiding out…" Olivia wasn't allowed to finish before Elliot had more to say.

"Bullshit!" He shouted. "Bullshit! Haven't been hiding, I'm your partner, and I didn't know. You've been walking around here all sly and shit for months, avoiding questions, giving bullshit answers, you've got some set on you Liv, to say you haven't been hiding."

"What did you want me to do Elliot? Huh? Tell everyone? Subject Alex and I's brand new relationship to the rumor mill? Put all that stress on a relationship that was new and developing…relationships in the best situations can't handle that kind of stress! We had to think about our jobs, our futures without one and other. We had to do our best to avoid a scandal, so that is what we did. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to give myself any reason to doubt you, if somehow it worked it's way out. We didn't hide. I told you things, everything except a name and I am sorry, but it was my decision to make. Don't blame her for this. If I wanted to tell you, you know there wasn't a damn thing she could have done to stop me Elliot. You know me better than that. The only place, that we hid was here, and we don't want to do that anymore. That is why we are here, that is why she is leaving." Alex slipped her hand into Olivia's in an effort to calm her temper.

Elliot looked like smoke could roll from his ears at any moment. He sat forward in his chair and put his head in his hands. Ten minutes he sat like that, without saying a word as Alex and the Captain discussed her departure. Olivia stood stoic in the corner of the room. Finally Elliot sat up and looked right at Alex.

"You love her?" Elliot asked, and though it was a question it came out more like a command. Elliot had moved along in his anger and was now playing the protective older brother routine.

"Excuse me?" Alex said, unimpressed with his tone.

"Liv, Alex, Liv do you love her yes or no?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't." Alex answered.

Elliot stood and walked over to his partner.

"You love her?" He asked nodding towards Alex.

"Yeah…yeah Elliot I do." Olivia's eyes begged him to understand.

"No more secrets Liv. No, more, secrets." Elliot stared at his partner.

"No more secrets." Olivia agreed.

Elliot walked back over and sat down beside Alex once more, he looked at the Captain, then back at the women.

"What do we do from here?" Elliot asked.

The four of them calmly discussed the plan that the women had worked out. They were planning on easing everyone in to their relationship. There would be no announcement, no press releases. Just good old fashion word of mouth. They asked that any questions that may come from the press be answered with a no comment, as well as any other lawyers.

As they got up to leave Elliot stopped Alex and held out his hand to her.

"You've been one royal pain in my ass sometimes, but you're one hell of a lawyer. You better make sure you're replacement is ready for this."

"I will see what I can do Elliot." She said with a smile.

Alex went back to her office and started preparing herself for the transition, around six there was a gently knock at the door.

"Come in." She said not looking up from her work.

"Hey, how are you?" Olivia said walking over to her desk and sitting against it.

"I'm good. I'm exhausted, but I am really, really good." She laced her fingers in Olivia's and drew her hand to her mouth and kissed it lightly.

"I love you." Olivia whispered.

"I love you too, you ready to go home? I'm starving."

"Yeah, lets go." Olivia pulled her to her feet a little too quickly causing her to stumble against Olivia. "Are you getting fresh with me counselor?"

"Mmm-maybe." Alex said and for the first time ever kissed Olivia, right there in the middle of her office.

"Oh, that reminds me…we need to get home. I have something that belongs to you."

"You do?" Alex couldn't think of anything missing, or that she had leant to Olivia recently.

"Mmhmm. C'mon, lets go, I'll show you." Olivia led Alex by the hand to the door. "Soon I won't have to let go when we walk out of here." She said with a smile.

After a quick bite at a corner pizza place Olivia and Alex made their way back to her apartment. Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's waist as she unlocked the door, she pulled her blonde hair away from her neck and kissed it up and down sending shivers down her spine. As she pushed her inside Olivia removed the smiling blondes coat and scarf and tossed them aside before removing her own. Taking Alex by the hand she lead her to the bedroom and silently and slowly removed her business suit. She allowed the grey jacket to hit the floor, pulled softly on the bottom of her shirt un-tucking it from her skirt. Olivia kissed Alex's long ivory next as she unbuttoned her scarlet red shirt. Alex let out a small sigh as Olivia traced her fingers up Alex's side and pushed back the silk until it found it's way to the floor in a pool. Sharply Olivia turned Alex around almost as if she was about to cuff her, Alex braced herself on the bed as Olivia quickly undid her bra and laid her weight against the half naked woman on the bed. She kissed down Alex's spine and gently caressed her breasts. Any memory of disappointment that remained after the Oreo debacle faded away as Olivia unzipped Alex skirt and ran her hands up and down the length of her inner thigh stopping just close enough to cause Alex's knees to buckle.

"Olivia." Her name was the only encouragement she needed as she spun Alex back around and threw her on the bed. She climbed up Alex and straddled her on the bed as she peeled off the layers of her own clothes. Alex playfully explored her partner with her fingertips; Olivia wasn't having any of it, tonight was about her. About showing her how much she loved her, and that she knew they had made the right choice, even if it wasn't the one Olivia had wanted.

She kissed every inch of Alex's torso paying special attention to her taught pink nipples, the way Alex was breathing she needed her and the sooner the better. Olivia slipped her fingers under the only material that stood between and pulled them away from her goal. Alex ran her fingers into Olivia's hair, as she flicked and licked Alex's warmth. Her fingers slipped inside and brought Alex closer, Olivia slowly kissed her back up her body claiming her mouth while still moving her skilled fingers below. She felt Alex's muscle begin to clench around her and felt her body jerk under her weight. Her deep breathing gave way to gentle laughter as she rode out the intensity of her orgasm. Olivia pulled her hand away and continued to nuzzle into Alex's neck playfully nipping and kissing her skin.

Still laying on top of her lover Olivia raised herself on her arms and looked down at the woman below her. "No matter what happens, with all of this. You are the only thing that matters to me. I would give up everything, to be with you, and I am sorry that the way I behaved showed you otherwise. I promise it won't happen again. I love you more than I can tell you, more than I have ever loved anyone. I just need you to know that."

"I do Olivia. I know." Alex traced her finger along the collar bone of her lover and sighed a regretful sigh as she moved her weight off her. "No matter what happens, it's you and me, no regrets."


	8. Phoenix

Phoenix

Phoenix.

It was five a.m. Olivia was sleeping, sprawled out across the soft white sheets Alex thought to herself how peaceful she looked. She was glad that after everything she saw day in and day out, she could still find some peace. Alex rolled back over and sighed deeply, she knew that everything that had happed since she and Olivia had gone public was of her own doing, but she didn't expect it to take this kind of toll on her. She felt like she was under the microscope at every turn, and for the most part she knew it was her own imagination making her feel that way. She'd never been so open about her life, never had to talk about her personal life so much, she supposed she just wasn't used to any attention being focused on that portion of her life.

Olivia shifted in her sleep and her outstretched arm found its way across Alex's stomach. A smile found its way across the blondes face, any discomfort she had felt over the last few months was worth it for moments like this one. As Olivia mumbled in her sleep Alex felt the overwhelming need to kiss the woman at her side. Her lips were cool against Olivia's warm cheek; Alex felt Olivia's hand tighten at her waist.

"Mmmm what was that for." Olivia's voice was groggy and low.

"I just love you."

"Mmhmm. I just love you too." Olivia slid closer to Alex eyes still closed. Her hand traced the line between her belly and her hip and her nose nuzzled in to the crook of her neck. She could feel the sleep taking over her body once more, but knew Alex was no closer by the way she drew in her breath.

"It's impossible to sleep when you are thinking so loud." Olivia grumbled.

"It's nothing."

"It's keeping us awake so it's something."

"Really, I'm just tired."

"Then you should try sleeping." Olivia teased.

"I just…"Alex's voice trailed off.

"You just what?" Olivia sat up in bed, she could see Alex's face in the glow of the street light.

"I'm just tired."

"I know you said that, I'm guessing we aren't talking the same kind of tired because we're still awake."

"I just didn't expect to feel like this." Alex was being vague and in her sleepy state it was driving Olivia crazy.

"Like what?"

"I've never doubted myself like this before."

"And you have no reason to start now, you're the same person you were before, you're the same lawyer you were before." Olivia kissed Alex's shoulder reassuringly.

"I know."

"You're just nervous."

"You would be too, if it was your face was on the cover of the Post. And that headline Alex Cabot; Gay ADA. So much for running for office, they'd have a field day."

"It's a high profile case, and the press has to run with something, the Post will run with anything. A gay ADA is prosecuting the murderer of five gay men...it is a big deal. I also know that if anyone is going to put that guy away it is going to be you."

There was a long silence and Olivia began drift back off to sleep; she couldn't make Alex talk if she wasn't going to. Just as Olivia was crossing back into dreamland Alex finally spoke.

"Are you ready for this?" Alex asked.

"I'm here for you." Olivia whispered.

"A case like this, it is going to be all over the papers. You, me, us…all of it. Not to mention the fact that until it is over you're living with a ghost, the hours that go in to a case like this…"

"Like the hours you've been putting in the last two months in preparation?"

"Worse. I can't loose this one Liv, there is too much riding on it."

"So you won't. Don't worry about me, or us, we'll be fine. This isn't my first time around; we've been through times like this before. You've been on the other side of the case that wouldn't end. We'll get through it, you've got to sleep after all." Olivia wrapped Alex in her arms and squeezed tight.

"Promise me you'll hold me like this every night and make it all go away." Alex said half pleading.

"I promise." Olivia said kissing her head.

"I love you."

"I love you too, can we sleep now?" Alex snuggled in to her partner and in the safety of her strong arms found comfort and eventually sleep.

As Olivia walked in to the prescient the next morning she couldn't help but feel like all eyes were on her and it didn't get any better sitting at her desk.

"Ok, Elliot could you tell me what the hell is going on?" She finally said tossing her case file on her desk.

"You haven't seen the papers today have you?"

"Honestly after the shit they pulled with Alex the last few weeks I've stopped looking." Olivia admitted.

"Well you might want to take a look at this." Elliot said tossing his paper on to her desk. Three pages in above the fold there it was a grainy photo of Olivia and Alex kissing on the street, with an accompanying article all about their "forbidden love" and the "havoc" it wreaked on the SVU. In summation it basically made Alex out to be reckless with her cases and Olivia the catalyst in her "hasty reassignment to homicide". According to this reporter their relationship optimized "all that can go wrong in the criminal justice system". In short it was brutal, and just the kind of thing Alex didn't need to be reading the day her trail began.

Olivia didn't say a word to Elliot, she knew she only had a few more minutes left before Alex would be in court; she picked up her phone and dialed.

"Cabot." Alex answered her phone as she gathered up files and organized her brief case.

"Hey, you still hanging in there?" Olivia asked.

"If you're asking if I have seen the paper, the answer is yes. I think we should frame that picture, we don't have many of us together." Olivia could hear the sarcasm in her voice that barely covered up the hurt below it.

"Alex…"Olivia's tone begged her to be serious.

"I'm fine. Are you ok? I'm sorry you got dragged in to this mess."

"It was only a matter of time, and I am fine. I'm thinking of it as a giant advertisement taking you off the market, letting the whole city know you're mine, takes a load off my mind." Olivia said with a chuckle.

"You aren't funny." Alex's tone was cross and her patients with Olivia grew thin.

"I sorry. Listen you're going to do great. I know you will." Alex didn't respond, Olivia knew she was preoccupied. "I love you. I'll see you after ok."

"Ok. I love you too." Alex was distracted she didn't really have time to think about anything but the case and while the article was not the kind of journalism she had always dreamed would be written about her, there was nothing to be done about it either.

It was past midnight before Alex walked through the door of her apartment. Olivia sat on the couch mindlessly flipping through the channels, waiting for Alex's return. She turned off the TV as soon as she made it to living room, setting down her things as she went. Olivia got up to greet her but Alex quickly disappeared into the bedroom slamming the door behind her.

"Well I guess she saw the news." Olivia muttered to herself, finding herself in the difficult situation of not knowing what Alex's actions meant. On one hand the closed door could mean, I just need to be alone for a while please, give me some space. On the other she could be begging Olivia to follow her, and make everything go away as she had made she promise she would only the night before. She decided to split the difference and waited ten minutes before knocking lightly on the door.

"Alex." She called through the door. "Can I come in?"

Silence.

"Alex, sweetheart are you ok? Do you want to talk about it?" She tried.

The door swung open, Alex stood on the other side in one of Olivia's shirts.

"How long have I been and ADA Olivia?"

"I don't know what five, six years?"

"Seven." Alex answered for her. "And a damn good one, I win cases for the people of this city, I have spent countless hours in court and preparing and working to keep the scum of the city in Rikers and other peoples families safe. For what? Running my name through the mud in the tabloids and the ten o'clock news?" Alex was holding back the tears that her anger brought about.

"I know."

"No, Olivia you don't. It's not you they are talking about. It's me. It's my name it's my credibility that is being put on trial and called to task, not yours. The way they tell it you were just an innocent bystander that got swept away with a 'gay ADA'. I did great in that courtroom today, great only to leave the courthouse and be face to face with a mob scene of press not interested in how the case went but how you are, how we are, how our relationship effects my work and this case, why I go transferred… it was insane. Are you still with the _detective _Ms.Cabot? How long have you been with the _detective_ Ms.Cabot? Should gay marriage be legalized Ms.Cabot? Ms.Cabot if New York legalizes gay marriage will you be marrying the _detective_?" Alex paced around the room violently using her hands to make her points.

Olivia swallowed hard, she didn't like the way Alex kept saying the word detective as if it were a four letter word for person who ruined my life.

"You looked great, very composed and the only comments aired were about the case." Olivia said trying to shed a positive light on the media attention.

"That is because the only questions I would answer were in vague reference to the case, but hey at least I looked good." Alex's words were getting harsher with each time she spoke and Olivia felt her cool beginning to wear thin.

"I understand you are upset Alex. I'm sorry this is happening. We both knew this might come back and effect us."

"Effect _us_ Olivia, _us_…how exactly is it effecting you _detective_? As clear as I can see all you've really had to deal with is a picture in the paper as you put it taking me off the market was it?"

"Ok, you're pissed off I get it, and it is hard but anytime you want to scale back on the attack would be great." Olivia shouted finally standing up for herself.

"I am pissed off Olivia, and it is hard, much harder than I thought it would be. If

I'd have known I…" Alex stopped.

"What Alex, if you'd have known what? What Alex, if you had known it would be this hard what? You would have called it off? Hid forever?"

"No of course not…you don't understand."

"And why would I, after all I'm just a _detective_." Olivia walked away from Alex and back into the living room picked up her coat.

" Olivia…wait…I didn't mean…?" Alex shouted following her. "Olivia stop, where are you going?"

"I think it might be best if I sleep at my place tonight. Let you get yourself together. I can't be around you when you are like this and I think we're both about to say things we don't mean."

"I'm sorry Olivia stop. I'm sorry."

"Yeah I know you are, me too." Olivia said walking out the door closing it behind her.

A knot built in Alex's throat and made it's way to her stomach. Her frustration was not with Olivia, but the situation. Unfortunately there would be no situation if not for Olivia, and they both knew it. She couldn't blame her for it, Olivia didn't make her tell Donnelly. Olivia didn't put in for the transfer or assign her such a high profile case, and Olivia didn't make her fall in love with her, she simply had no choice. This was the chance she knew she was taking; she was the one who put the chips on the table, not Olivia.

Running down the stairs Olivia fought against the tears welling in her eyes, she was not going to cry over this. She told her self that Alex was just stressed out and angry at the way things were going with the press, and she didn't blame her. There was no amount of talking herself out of it that would make her not hear Alex's voice playing over and over in her head. The way she kept emphasizing the word detective,  
how exactly is it effecting you detective?

"Well for starters its turned you into some kind of raving bitch." Olivia thought to herself instantly feeling guilty.

She knew when they decided to move forward in their relationship that when it came out publicly like this, it would affect Alex's career more than hers. No one really cares about a lesbian cop, but a love affair between an officer of the court and a sex crimes detective, it was too good to pass up. Add in the circumstances of Alex's current case and the potential for headlines was endless, but Olivia was just a supporting role in the soap opera they created and the burden wasn't falling on her. She felt the vibration in the pocket of her coat and expected to find Alex's name on the caller ID, after all they hadn't spent a night apart that wasn't work related since they had been together, but it wasn't Alex's name or number flashing on the blue screen. It was the prescient calling and any hope of a reconciliation tonight going down the tubes.

Working the crime scene, interviewing the victim and the paperwork took well into the morning and to be honest Olivia was thankful for the distraction but when she checked her phone at four thirty and there were no messages, no texts, no calls at all she couldn't help but feel like she was no longer standing on solid ground.

"You ok Liv?" Elliot asked handing her a cup of barely warm and completely disgusting coffee.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine." She answered very obviously distracted.

"No ya aren't." Elliot disagreed.

"Oh, ok then Elliot tell me how I really am?" She snapped.

"You aren't fine, because someone who is fine doesn't bite the head off a person who is just concerned. Forget I asked." He said walking away.

"Elliot." She called after him. Elliot turned on his heel and faced her. "I'm sorry."

"I'm here, if ya wanna talk." He said with a smile and turned again and walked away.

Alex stared at the clock. She had seen every hour between the time she laid down and the current time of five a.m. Falling asleep wasn't the hard part, it was staying that way, she could feel the dread building in her gut. She was going to be useless in court that was for sure and distracted to boot. It had occurred to her each time she woke she should call Olivia, and tell her she was sorry, tell her she was wrong, and admit that she crossed a line and that she loved her very much. There was just something keeping her hand from the phone, she wasn't ready yet, in some ways this_ was_ all her fault. Alex wasn't looking to fall in love, but there she was in the middle of the greatest love of her life and she was making choices that wouldn't have even been an option in her life before. Besides she was the one who walked out, shouldn't she be the one calling and asking for forgiveness? Alex knew she walked out because of what she had said the words that cut Olivia like a knife but it still hurt watching her just walk out. She picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number, she was used to winning cases in court but, she knew this was an open and shut case of her being insensitive and mean and no jury in the world would pin this one on Olivia. It was time she admit it.

"Benson." Olivia answered as she got out of the car, the sun was just starting to come up.

"Liv, it's me." Alex started.

"I know who it is Alex." Olivia snapped. "I'm sorry. Long night."

"I know, me too. Did you have a case come in?"

"Yeah. I did. So uh, what can I do for you?" If she wasn't calling to apologize Olivia couldn't think of anything she wanted to hear from her this morning.

"The way I spoke to you before was out of line, and I am sorry. None of this is your fault and I didn't mean to imply that it was. I shouldn't have said those things, I am very sorry Olivia."

"I'm sorry I walked out."

"I don't blame you. I don't want to fight with you. I am sorry I blamed you, for all the hell that we're going through right now, I wouldn't change our decision. They'll loose interest soon."

"They will." Olivia agreed. "Why don't you start the shower, I'll be up in a second." Olivia said smiling at the coincidence. Just as she was coming to demand an apology Alex offered up one all on her own.

"You're here?"

"Yeah, when you're not at work you normally go home, fight or not, you're home." Olivia said causing the tension that had built over night suddenly released its hold on Alex's body and she sunk into the mattress.

"I'll get it going. I have three more hours before I have to be up."

"Maybe we can catch a few winks."

"Maybe." Alex said hanging up the phone.


	9. Perceptions

Authors Notes: Thanks for all the feed back, keep it coming. I love reviews, if I know what you like, I can give you more!! Hope you enjoy it!

Perceptions.

Olivia shifted her weight to her other foot and continued to stand next to the bar sipping her dirty martini, watching Alex interact with her peers, waiting for her to make good on her promise to be right back. This just wasn't her scene and she felt like everyone in the room knew it, but the invite came addressed to Alex Cabot and Olivia Benson, not guest a first for the two of them. After the hell that Alex had gone through with her office, all the publicity from her last case of which little was about the fact she had won it. It was nice to have something to look forward to, something to get dressed up for and show everyone their relationship was more than just fodder for the gossip mill and the local papers.

"You look miserable." A familiar voice said before ordering her drink.

"Hey Casey. Not miserable, just a little miffed." She nodded toward Alex who was in the middle of a conversation with the DA and the rest of the boys club.

"She can charm a crowd can't she?" Casey's remark wasn't backhanded, it was simply the truth, it was one of the reasons Alex was such a good lawyer, she could certainly captivate people.

"That she can." Olivia agreed with a smile. "You here alone?" Olivia asked immediately regretting her phrasing.

"Why yes, I am thank you for reminding me."

"Sorry that wasn't how I meant it." Olivia reassured Casey.

"I know, no offense taken."

"It just surprises me is all, I thought…"

"You thought I was with Kyle." Casey said taking a sip of her drink.

"That's the rumor."

"Yeah well, you of all people should know about the rumor mill around here."

"I'm sorry." Olivia felt badly and she wasn't helping this situation at all though Casey's presents were definitely peeking Alex's interest. She stole a glance back in her direction frequently since Casey showed up.

"I didn't figure you for a black tie ball kind of girl." Casey said trying to save face and change the subject.

"I think I can hold my own." Olivia said straightening her dress and sipping her drink. "It's good to dress up now and then, remind myself I'm a woman."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to...that was rude of me. Perhaps I am projecting my feelings on to you, I really hate these kind of things."

"We can call it even." Olivia said with a laugh. "Why do you hate these things so much? These are your peers, I'm the one who is a fish out of water."

"Look at Alex. Bell of the ball, DA's favorite daughter, walked through fire and came out shining like a diamond. Guess I still feel like the red headed step child of the DA's office."

"Ah Casey, you're the new kid on the block, you'll find your groove."

"I've been with SVU for nearly six months Olivia, and other than about a case this is the first time we have talked. I'm just not likeable."

"You're likeable, and as far as I go, I don't know I guess I haven't given you a fair shake, so much going on with Alex and I. Maybe you're a little rough around the edges, and perhaps Alex is more prim and proper than you are but you're good at your job."

"I know I'm good, but Alex was great."

As if on cue a loud outburst of laughter came from Alex's and her audience. Olivia watched as Alex finally locked eyes with her and excused herself from the crowd.

"Trying to steal my date Novack?" Alex joked walking up to Olivia pecking her cheek and taking her hand.

"No, no, wouldn't dream of it. Besides she's not really my type." Casey joked.

"You sure have them eating out of your hand." Olivia said turning to Alex with a smile.

"What can I say; I found a way into the boys club." Alex said with a smile.

"What is that?" Casey asked almost too curious.

"Not sleeping with the boys." Alex's tone almost accused Casey of breaking the rule.

"What did Kyle tell you?" Casey asked defensively.

Alex laughed. "He didn't tell me anything Casey, you however…"

Casey picked up her drink and walked away clearly upset by what had just transpired.

"Nice job Alex." Olivia said rolling her eyes.

"What I was joking, she just took it personal."

"What is your problem with her?" Olivia asked annoyed.

"I don't have a problem with her, I was as I said, joking."

"You know as well as I do, you've never liked her."

"She is my replacement Olivia, I'm not supposed to like her, but I do think you have it confused, she's always acted suspicious around me."

"You ever think you might be a little intimidating?"

"How?" Alex snapped.

"You were the darling of the SVU now you're the queen of homicide and you've got the DA eating out of your hand. Perhaps she feels she can't compete."

"I guess I didn't realize we were competing." Alex scoffed taking a drink from her wine.

"You know what I mean."

"Well if this is a competition perhaps she'd like to start winning cases. I can't believe you are defending her, you said yourself you miss me at work."

"Because I miss you anytime I am not with you Alex, and I am not with you when I am at work."

"And because you miss seeing perps locked up."

"That isn't fair."

"Isn't it?"

"She hasn't hit her stride yet, she's getting there."

"Well lets hope she gets there soon, this city isn't as safe with her prosecuting."

"Alex I can't believe you are acting this way, we're all supposed to be on the same side here."

"You're the one who said this was a competition."

"What is your problem?"

"I'm sorry Liv, I guess I just don't care for her…but you two look awfully chummy."

"You can _not _be serious. Alexandra Cabot, you're not jealous of Casey."

"I never said I was jealous, I was just stating a fact."

"I'm not even going to get into this with you, you're crazy for even saying anything."

"Judge Donnelly." Alex said shooting Olivia a behave yourself look as Donnelly approached.

"Alexandra, Olivia, nice to see you at one of these dreadful affairs."

Olivia smiled politely and let Alex do the talking.

"It's not so bad." Alex said smiling and taking Olivia's hand again.

"I'm glad to see you weathered the storm, the press on that last case of yours was brutal."

Alex hung her head, she wished people could just let that whole mess go.

Olivia piped up.

"Alex was amazing, don't you think? Keeping the press in check while kicking ass in the court room."

Alex shot Olivia a look warning her silently about her bullpen bravado rearing it's head in this posh setting, suddenly Olivia felt two inches tall.

"You were something." Donnelly agreed.

"Thank you." Alex said as Elizabeth excused herself to join another conversation.

"Nice." Alex snapped shaking her head at her partner.

"I'm am sorry, I forgot I shouldn't speak without your hand on my back moving my lips."

"You are not my puppet Olivia."

"Sometimes I feel like I am your doll. You can dress me up, but don't take me anywhere I might say something embarrassing or talk to a co-worker. After all I'm just a detective, what do I know…"

"Olivia." Alex said touching her shoulder feeling silly for letting their argument reach this point in the first place. "Why are we really arguing?"

Olivia sighed. "Maybe it's all the pressure we put on ourselves for this night to be the poster women for lesbian relationships."

"That is too much pressure."

"Tell me about it."

"I feel like everyone is watching us." Alex admitted.

"You and me both."

"So now what?" Alex asked slinking her arms around Olivia's waist and pulling her close.

"Well, everyone's watching, lets give them something to see." Olivia said with a smile taking her by the hand and leading her to the quickly filling dance floor.

Alex threw her head back in laughter as Olivia jokingly curled her lip like Elvis and shook her hips, before taking Alex's hand and placing it on her hip and taking the other in her free hand.

"Who knew Detective Benson would be so light on her feet." Alex giggled.

"That's the problem with you Alex you think you've got me pegged, like you have me all figured out."

"Oh I know I don't have you figured out." Alex assured her.

"I'm no one trick pony." Olivia said with a wink.

"Don't I know it."

"Dirty!"

"That's what I love about you." Alex said smiling, she could feel the eyes on them but she didn't care, and the longer they were on the floor the less it seemed to matter.

"There is not enough time left in my life, to tell you what I love about you."

"Awww Olivia Benson, you big softy."

Olivia brought her mouth to Alex's ear and whispered.

"That's me." She said before pulling her head back and looking Alex in the eye. "You know I'll never be good at these things, I am not a society lady, I can't just put on a dress and be your eye candy for a night."

"I know."

"And I might clean up nice, and be able to move you around the dance floor but, I'll never be able to hold my tongue."

" I know, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You want to get out of here?" Olivia asked.

"I thought you'd never ask."


	10. Tick Tick Boom

_Hey guys thanks for all the input the more the better. This chapter is a two parter it was just getting too long so I cropped it. Sorry to leave you hanging but I promise I won't leave you dangling long! Thanks again for all the wonderful feed back! Paige_

**Tick, tick, tick…Boom!**

Alex sighed at she picked up Olivia's boots and tossed them in the hall closet that was already overflowing with her things.

"Olivia!" She yelled through clenched teeth as she closed the closet door and turned only to trip over her gym bag. She felt her face get hot and turn bright red.

"What?!" Olivia called back to her annoyed by Alex's tone.

"What? What? I'll tell you what, your crap is everywhere. The closet is bursting with laundry and everything else that has found its way over here. Get your ass off the couch and help me pick this place up." Alex was tearing around the living room making a pile of Olivia's things on the top her gym bag.

"Geez Alex take a pill, I will do laundry tonight." Olivia said grabbing a shirt out of her hand.

"What about all this other stuff?" Alex waved a DVD in Olivia's direction.

"What? You want me out of here? I'll pack it all up and go home!" Olivia shouted marching over to her gym bag and setting it beside the door.

"No Olivia, I don't want _you_ out of here. It's this stuff all your stuff..." Alex said as she picked up one of Olivia's jackets and shaking it in the air.

"Well that is what happens when someone stays at someone else's house _every _night for months on end. Their stuff finds its way over as well."

"I know." Alex sighed stopping in her tracks. "I know!" Alex was clearly frustrated but trying to keep her cool. "But when I got this place I was thinking it was a nice place for one, two people were never meant to live here."

"So what you really do want me to go?" Olivia was being dramatic before for effect but now she worried that was exactly what Alex was alluding to.

"No, I am saying it is time we look for a place...together." Alex said flopping on the couch.

Olivia swallowed, suddenly terrified by the proposition.

"You want to live in together?" Olivia asked.

"Oh Liv, it's cute that you think we don't already live together." A slow subtle grin covered the blondes face.

"Yeah but we'll have to look for a place, and that is such a pain in the ass..." Olivia teased.

"Yeah well, I can't live like this anymore." Alex said getting up and standing toe to toe with Olivia. "I just feel like we're always on top of each other..."

The statement immediately made Olivia laugh out loud. It only took a moment for Alex to think about what she just said, Olivia's one track mind struck again.

"You know what I mean..." Alex said playfully hitting Olivia in the arm and trying to hold in a laugh.

"Oh I know what you mean." Olivia said easily picking up Alex and throwing her on the couch before jumping on top of her and playfully nibbling on her neck.

"This is _not _what I meant by that..." Alex smiled pushing Olivia up and taking her face in her hands making her shake her head no.

"Sure it is." Olivia said with a kiss.

"Now." Olivia cocked her brow and kissed Alex again.

"Why." A kiss on her neck.

"Would." Kiss on the forehead.

" You." Olivia kissed Alex one more time on the lips before finishing. "Want to move to a place where we _wouldn't_ be on top of each other all the time?"  
"With you, I don't think that place exists!" Alex joked poking Olivia in her ribs causing her to squeal.

"You think we're ready for this?" Olivia asked bracing herself on her arms as she looked at Alex.

"There's only one way to find out." Alex said kissing Olivia.

"You realize that means all my stuff not just my gym bag and some clothes, will be around, all the time."

"Hmmmm." Alex tapped the tip of her nose with a finger. "Almost all your stuff..."

"What, what do you mean almost." Olivia said sitting up.

"Ummm the Madonna poster you think I don't know you have hanging in the back of your closet for starters." Alex said with a laugh.

Olivia blushed. "Oh no, Madonna stays, she'll stay in the back of the closet where she has lived forever, but she stays. You can't throw out Madonna, I am pretty sure it is a cardinal sin, I'll have to ask Elliot but I think so."

"Really, cause I don't remember _that_ Madonna in the bible."

"Madonna stays…what else?" Olivia asked.

"Well…" Alex hesitated she had a feeling this conversation was going to head south, and fast.

"Come on you said the poster for starters, what else about my apartment do you hate?"

"Well your couch is a little hideous." Alex shut her eyes and turned away as if she thought Olivia might pop her one for saying so.

"Its just a khaki couch it goes with anything how is it hideous?" She was a little offend that Alex was tearing down her things, that she liked, that she picked out, that she had missed the last few months while living in Alex's perfectly kept apartment.

"It is broken down…" Alex argued.

"Broken in, thank you." Olivia said defending her couch.

"It sags." Alex pointed out.

"It's comfortable."

"It smells."

"Oh it doesn't smell, you're being silly." Olivia said getting up and walking across the room.

"It smells Liv, it smells like you have had it for way to long. Spilt one too many beers on it, had one too many nights I don't want to think about on it. "

"Seven years isn't that long for furniture."

"Seven years! You've had that poor couch for seven years." Alex was shocked.

"Hey it has sentimental value that was my first big purchase when I made detective."

"We'll use this couch, this is a good couch, we've made lots of memories on this couch."

"So what you and I are going to get a place together but I just get to bring my clothes and you get to bring everything you've ever owned?" Alex didn't like the tone Olivia was taking about this, she could tell this was turning into a fight she didn't want to have again.

"That's not what I am saying Liv. I just think this couch is nicer than yours, and we won't need two couches."

"So now your stuff is nicer than my stuff?" Olivia ranted.

"It's just newer is all, you know what I mean." Alex would rather pull out her hair than have this same fight again.

"Yeah, I think I do and it really stinks Alex. Am I ever going to really be good enough for you? I think that is something you need to really think about, before we decide we're going to move in together."

"Liv don't, of course you are good enough for me. You're the only one for me."

"I don't doubt you love me Alex, I know you love me. I just think sometimes you get so wrapped up in everything you think you're pushing me to be better or whatever but have you ever thought that this is who I am? This is who I want to be? You're not going to change me." Olivia felt like a broken record.

"Not liking your couch doesn't mean I want to change you. It just means I don't like your couch." Alex was growing annoyed with the conversation and really just wanted to move on from it.

"I want us to live together. I want us to _be _together, but Alex you're going to have to start to really understand that this..." She said gesturing to her pile of belonging by the door. "These things, the mess that I am the mess that my life tends to be, this is me. This is who you love, I'm not going to suddenly turn into a delicate flower..."

"And if you did I'd have to leave you, I'm definitely not the delicate flower kind of girl. Olivia, really if it is that big of a deal we'll keep that couch, I promise it wasn't some metaphor for my not liking you the way you are, it was really just a statement about furniture that I don't care for. We don't even have to take this couch, we could buy a new couch, hell we could buy all new furniture, whatever _we_ decide."

"Yeah like we have the money for that." Olivia scoffed.

"I do. And I'd be happy to do it, if it meant you'd be more comfortable." Alex knew she just pulled the pin, and waited for Olivia to explode, going so far as to count it down, three, two, one…

"I'm not going to sit back and have you redecorate a new apartment we don't even have yet. I'm not going to freeload off my girlfriend thanks." Boom! Alex thought to herself as Olivia started on her tear.

"I never said you were..." She tried to stay calm and not rip Olivia's head off but if there was one thing Alex couldn't stand it was an unreasonable woman.

"Listen Alex, I didn't grow up with money ok, my mom had to work hard for everything we had, I think we just see things differently. I don't want to be your charity case, I want to be your partner and it just feels like you think you have to take care of me and you don't. I'm a big girl, I've been talking care of myself for a lot longer than you have. I'm fine with getting a new place, I'm even fine with getting a new couch but I am not just going to let you pay for everything." Olivia hadn't realized her voice slowly gaining volume as she explained herself to Alex.

Alex didn't know what to think or what to say. On one hand she understood how Liv was feeling it was typical Liv, she wanted to be the one taking care of everything and everyone. She'd always known that her money made Olivia uncomfortable and she knew that she worried that as a lawyer a detective wasn't the prize partner she'd always dreamed about but she was wrong about that as well. On the other hand she was kind of furious that Olivia could boil down their relationship to a caste system that didn't exist to anyone but her. So Alex had family money and a respectable job, she shouldn't have to feel bad about those things and Olivia was wrong to make her think otherwise. It wasn't like Olivia was low class, she had a very respectable job, and made decent money the only person that felt like Olivia wasn't good enough for Alex, was Olivia and it was driving her mad.

"Come off it Liv!" Alex shouted finally loosing her cool. "Seriously. You have got to get over this, you are not going to make me feel bad about being able to take care of us. Not you, us. What does it matter what I do or what you do, or who makes what..." Alex was almost pleading with Olivia to be sensible.

"Or who has daddies little trust fund..." Olivia mocked.

"Ok you know what, before I was going to be nice, but that's bullshit Olivia and you know it. I am not going to apologize for myself anymore. Have I ever, said anything to you about not being good enough for me? Not making enough money for me? Not having the kind of job I want you to have? No I haven't, because it doesn't matter one bit to me. But obviously it matters a whole hell of a lot to you." Alex stormed off into the bedroom slamming the door behind her. Olivia picked up her coat and walked out the front door.


	11. After Boom

_Authors Notes: This is going to be the last installment for a while, I have about a million things I have to get through in the last few weeks before the big day. Don't count me completely out though, I can't get through most days without writing something so look for a one shot or two perhaps. I promise as soon as my impending nuptials are behind me and things are back to normal I will return. And I just want to give a big thanks to my lovely friend Amy for reading this about 2,000 times before I finished and talking me off the ledge more than once. I know I am a little crazy, can we blame it on the wedding?? _

**After Boom.**

"What are you doing here, you're not supposed to be in until tomorrow." Elliot said as Olivia walked in to the squad room and sat at her desk.

"I'm not here. Don't worry about it." She flipped open a file and hoped that Elliot wasn't feeling chatty either.

"You look pretty here to me."

"Yeah well I'm not." Olivia snapped shooting Elliot a get back stare.

"Crappy attitude, here in the middle of the day on your Saturday off, I'd say trouble in paradise?" Elliot teased.

"Well you're wrong." Olivia said turning the page.

"Come on, fess up, what'd ya do?" Elliot asked as he made his way to pour them each a cup of stale coffee.

"What makes you think I did something?" Olivia said taking the offering from Elliot and taking a drink.

"Innocent people rarely leave the scene of the crime…detective 101." Elliot said kicking his feet up on his desk to exaggerate his point.

"Yeah well you have it wrong. And seriously have you guys not made a fresh pot since I left?" She said pushing the toxic coffee away from her.

"Mmmm new pot, same grounds." Elliot said with a wink. "Come on Liv, I'm just teasing ya, what's going on? Maybe I can help ya know I've been with the same women for the last 17 years. You don't do that with out picking up a thing or two about women."

"I am a woman, I think I know a thing or two about them. And anyway it's nothing. We're fine."

"So we've gone from no trouble, to trouble but it isn't your fault, to you're fine nothings wrong at all again."

"We had a fight Elliot, it's nothing it will blow over I just needed to get out of the house and clear my head. I might as well catch up on some paperwork while I'm at it."

"If you say so." Elliot said going back to his paperwork.

Olivia fidgeted at her desk a while longer before she couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you and Kathy fight about most?" Olivia asked suddenly shutting her file.

"Money, hands down. Where it comes from, where it goes, how much goes where…yeah money." Elliot said with a sigh.

"Well at least that is the same no matter who you are." Olivia got up and dumped the disgusting coffee out and threw the two day old grounds in the trash.

"Ah, money troubles?" Elliot asked as Olivia refilled the carafe and switched on the pot.

"You could say that." Olivia said rubbing her temples, she felt like her head was about to split open.

"I thought Alex had family money…"

"She does." She rolled her eyes and sat back down.

"Then what is the problem." Elliot asked confused.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Olivia sighed and looked off at nothing, just trying to think of how to explain the situation made her aware of how unreasonable she was being. She hated that she could rationalize it in her head but somehow in her heart she still felt like she wasn't, nor would she ever been deserving of Alex, that feeling went so much deeper than the money that it wasn't about the money at all really.

"You ever feel like..." Olivia swallowed. "You ever feel like Kathy might be better off without you. Not that you aren't a great father, or husband...I'm not saying that I just mean..."

"You think maybe Alex would be better off without you. Yeah I understand. I've been there. Its hard."

"I don't know it's like her having that money reminds me of all I can't give her, when all I want to do is give her everything. She deserves it..."

"So do you Olivia."

"Hmmph." Olivia rolled her eyes and sat forward in her chair coming to rest her head in her hands.

"That's your problem right there Liv, you don't think you're worth it."

"Don't try to shrink me Elliot."

"I'm not trying to shrink you." Elliot said with a chuckle, Olivia could be the most unreasonable person in the room if she really put her mind to it.

"Yeah, I think you are." Olivia said defensively.

"If I were trying to shrink you, which I am not, I would mention how defensive you get when you know you are wrong."

"You're the one who's wrong El."

"Oh yeah? I'm wrong huh? Tell me one thing you think you deserve."

"A break from this line of bull shit for starters."

"Hey you are free to go, you're not on the clock." Elliot said safely assuming she was not ready to leave and go back and face whatever was going on between her and Alex.

"Forget I said anything."

"If you say so." Elliot said getting back to his work.

They had barely been working another few minutes when Cragens office door flew open and he stepped out into the bull pen, eyes locked on Olivia.

"Benson, my office...now!"

Olivia started to explain herself before the door has a chance to shut.

"I'm not on the clock cap, just thought I would get a jump on Monday."

"I will not be your hiding place Benson." Cragen said taking a seat at his desk.

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked confused.

"Have a seat Olivia."

Reluctantly she sat at the chair across from him and waited for an explanation.

"I will not be your hiding place, I will not let you hide in your work when things get hard for you."

"Who says things are hard? Who says I'm hiding?" Olivia said glaring at Elliot.

"Don't blame Elliot., Alex called."

"Damn it Alex."

"Don't blame her either."

"Cap, if you need me out of here I'll go." Olivia said walking towards the door.

"Sit down Olivia."

"Nah, Cap, its ok...I'll hide out somewhere else for a while."

"Sit...down...Olivia. That's an order detective." She could tell by the tone he wasn't playing around.

Reluctantly Olivia closed the door and sat down.

"Why are you here Olivia?"

"I just thought I would get a jump on Monday like I said."

"That isn't why you are here and we both know it. You haven't been in on a day off in months, not since Alex, so cut the crap what's going on."

"I don't see how it is any of your business Captain, I am sorry Alex bugged you with it."

"Why are you here Olivia?" The captain asked again wanting an answer.

"Well Alex called you right...you tell me."

"She just asked if you were here Olivia nothing more. From the looks of things you are just being stubborn."

"I'm not being stubborn Captain. I am being the same person I have always been."

"My point exactly, that is what worries me. Over the last several months I have seen a change in you Olivia, and not a bad one."

"You can't change a person captain." Olivia said standing and looking out the window into the squad room.

"Sure you, can and Alex has changed you."

"Maybe I don't want to be changed." Olivia knew her tone wasn't appropriate, but she didn't care, he wanted to talk about this, she wasn't going to make it easy for him.

"Maybe you didn't have a choice, maybe you didn't even realize it was happening. Like it or not Olivia, Alex has changed you and for the better. Last year you were hanging on by a thread. I had given some serious thought to having you reassigned; you were too involved you took things too hard. Even when you left the prescient you never left the job. As shocking as your relationship with Alex was to me, it has made you a better detective. Everyone needs someone to ease the pressure, especially in our line of work, everyone deserves to smile now and then."

"I wasn't hanging on by a thread." Olivia took the comment as a slap in the face.

"Call it what you want Benson, but if I were you I'd get over myself and I'd go home to Alex and fix whatever is going on with you two."

"It's not so cut and dry cap." Olivia said sitting back down and running her hands through her short dark hair.

"It never is Olivia. You have to realize it isn't just about you anymore. You're used to being on your own, not having someone to answer to I get that. I want you to really think about that though, when were you happier then...or now?" Cragen paused and picked up a picture from his desk. "Take my word for it Olivia, you don't want to be alone, you'll miss her when she's gone."

"How did you do it Cap?" Olivia said realizing what he was alluding to.

"Do what?"

"Stay married for so many years, stay happy, even with the job."

"I guess the easiest answer is she made it easy, every day, every call, when things got to be just too much I'd just remember at the end of the day I'd be home with her. Life is easier when you have someone to share it with Benson."

"I just feel like she deserves better than what I can give her cap, than what I am."

"And just what do you think that is?"

"A no named mutt, a rapist for a father, and a drunk for a mother. I am nothing from no where, and she is Alexandra Cabot of the Connecticut Cabots. She was born into this life of greatness and she has filled the role, what have I done?" Cragen saw the pain in Olivia's eyes as she told him the truth for the first time since he called her in to his office.

"You've made yourself into someone you can be proud of, someone Alex can be proud of, and someone that I am proud of. You're one of the most decorated detectives in SVU and you put the bad guys away. Alex knew who you were before you got involved you'd worked together for a long time, she knew what she was getting in to Olivia." He said trying to reassure a woman who had never needed much reassuring.

"I'm just scared that one day I am going to wake up and she'll be gone, she'll have realized that I am not who she sees herself with. I'm not the kind of person who was sure she'd even have a future, let alone someone you can have a future with."

"A long time ago back when I joined the force I thought for sure Maggie would leave. She was not happy when I took my oath to protect and serve, thought it was too dangerous, but I was stubborn and it was what I was going to do. There was a while there I was sure she'd just as soon leave me as be married to a cop but she didn't. She stuck it out twenty years. I can't say I was perfect in those twenty years, and I can't say she wasn't. Every day when I left for work, it was the same thing, 'come home safe Donald'. When we found out she had cancer, I found out first hand how she felt every time I left for work. Not knowing if I would come back that night, not sure what the future would hold for us. I always knew she loved me, but it was then that I realized how much you have to love someone, to let them walk out the door day in and day out, not knowing for sure that they will come home again. When she passed, I didn't know what I would do, I spent a lot of lonely nights in the bottom of a bottle trying to drink the pain away. The point I am trying to make here is, you can't protect Alex from loving you, she already does. And even if I knew from the start, that I would end up loosing her too soon, that I would be the one left without her… I wouldn't change a thing. Risk and reward Olivia, that is what love is. Alex put a lot on the line because she loves you, you need to believe that, hold on to that and not let it go. If you let doubt in, you'll never make it, not for a second. You have to trust your instincts, you have to trust your gut and know that she's with you because she loves you. So you may have to compromise a little, would you rather always have it your way and be alone, or give a little and have someone to come home to? You've got to stop selling yourself short Olivia, Alex is no fool I don't think she thought you would wake up one day and walk away from SVU and start working on Wall Street, she knows who you are and near as I can tell she loves who you are."

"I jus..." Olivia started.

"Olivia, go home. Make it right, and I don't want to see your mug back here until Monday got it?" Cragen said giving her a stern look.

"Yes sir." Olivia said.

"And Olivia..." He started.

"It's between you and me Cap." Olivia replied knowing what he was about to ask her.

"Good."

Olivia didn't go straight home from the prescient, she meandered down the sidewalks of the city thinking about what the captain had said, looking in the windows, thinking about all the things that she and Alex had made it through together, all the things that Olivia could have never made it through without her. The more she thought about things, the more she realized how foolish she had been.

Alex was sitting on the sofa when she walked through the door.

"I'm sorry." Olivia said walking over to her and sitting down.

"Me too."

"I shouldn't have left like that, I know it worries you when I just leave."

Alex nodded.

"I'm sorry I called Cragen, I just needed to know you were safe."

"I know, and it's ok we actually had a really good talk."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah."

"Care to fill me in?" Alex asked curious.

"Actually its kind of..."

"Private?" Alex knew from the look on Olivia's face she didn't want to talk about it just yet.

"Yeah. I hope that's ok."

"Of course it's ok."

Olivia leaned in to Alex's shoulder and picked up her hand and traced a finger over its top.

"You still want to move in with me?" Olivia asked after a moment.

"Of course I do." Alex said wrapping her arms around Olivia pulling her on top of her.

Olivia looked into the deep blue eyes of her partner and thought about what the Captain had said, which was more important having her way, or having Alex.

"You're more important." Olivia said without thinking.

"I am? Than what?" Alex asked confused.

"Any of my bull shit. I'm so sorry we have to keep going through it all."

"Eh, I knew you were kind of neurotic when I put the moves on ya." Alex said with a giggle pulling Olivia down to meet her in a kiss.

"You think you put the moves on me?" Olivia said with a laugh. "Oh no counselor, I hate to remind you but I put the moves on you."

"So…." Alex said a hopeful expression on her face.

"So?"

"Are we going to do it?" Alex asked.

Olivia flashed a wicked grin before answering.

"I sure hope so." She said leaning down to kiss Alex's neck.

"Not, that it. I mean, are we going to do it, are we really going to find a place together?"

"Oh…that it." Olivia pretended she was really confused and watched Alex turn an adorable shade of red.

"Yes. Let's do it. Let's find a place together and move in and live happily ever after." Olivia said dramatically, intentionally over playing her comment.

"Do you mean that?" Alex asked taking Olivia's face in her hands. Her eyes searched her partners face for the punch line and hoped that it wouldn't come; if it did it might break her heart irreparably.

Olivia could see it written all over Alex's face, she desperately hoped that she meant what she said, and as she lay there looking at Alex in that moment she was certain that she meant every word.

"Of course I do." Olivia said capturing Alex's mouth in a kiss.

"What about…" Alex started to say as she pulled away.

"Alex honey, we'll figure it out." Olivia said trailing kisses down her neck.

"I just don't want you to…"

"Alex, sweetie I won't, I'll be fine." Olivia pulled gently on the hem of Alex's t-shirt, Alex sat up just enough to allow for the garments removal and lay back onto the couch.

"Because I don't want to…"

"Alex, don't worry about it. Come on baby…" Olivia said running her hand behind her and releasing the clasp on her bra throwing it quickly to the side before taking Alex's breast in her warm hand and flicking at her nipple playfully with her tongue.

"Olivia…" Alex sighed.

Olivia grunted.

"Alex sweet heart, I'm doing some of my best work here…" She said growing frustrated with Alex's interruptions.

"Mmm that I'm aware, don't let me stop you." Alex said as Olivia's hand dipped under the waist band of her shorts.

Once they were both properly adorned in nothing but a few pieces of jewelry Alex set out to remind Olivia just how much she loved that couch.

"Sit up." Alex commanded.

Olivia groaned into Alex's mouth not wanting to relinquish her control.

"Olivia, sit up." Alex repeated.

Olivia reluctantly pulled her body from atop Alex and sat on the couch. Alex immediately sat directly on top of Olivia, straddling her lap causing immediate bolts of electricity to shoot through them as their cores aligned. Alex took one of Olivia's ear lobes in her mouth and nibbled gently at first before biting down harder and pulling with her teeth eliciting a reaction of both pleasure and pain. Olivia couldn't help but buck under Alex's weight, it all was too intense. Alex bared her weight down hard against Olivia as she began to slowly rock against her. Olivia's nails dug into Alex's ass as she joined in the rhythm. Olivia couldn't believe the feelings she was experiencing and just when she was sure she couldn't take any more Alex slipped from her position quickly down to her knees in front of Olivia. Before Olivia even realized she was gone she felt Alex's warm tongue tracing the inside of her thigh as two of her skilled fingers entered her without warning.

"Alex…" Olivia moaned taking a handful of blonde hair in her hand.

Alex continued to work her magic fingers inside Olivia as she trailed her tongue over to her waiting and wanting clit, flicking it playfully before sucking, nibbling and licking Olivia over the edge. Her thighs clenched and held Alex prisoner as she rode through the waves of unparalleled bliss.

Proud of her work and completely spent Alex crawled back up onto the couch with Olivia who wrapped her in her arms and pulled her closer with her still trembling legs.

"You're right." Olivia said, kissing the back of Alex's glistening neck.

"About?"

"This is a great couch, we can't get rid of it." Olivia said with a laugh.

"Amen."


End file.
